As A Magpie I’d Like To Apologise

Image from Shutterstock

As a magpie I’d like to apologise for the bullshit of my compatriots.

You’ve changed our lives a lot since you arrived, but there’s really no need for us to fly ourselves directly into your eyeballs. There’s still plenty of trees for us to set up shop, and it’s not like you’re scaling them to pluck our precious eggs for your breakfast. In fact I’ve never heard one story of a human doing so, but in spite…