Designer’s Super Powers
A solution method that we can use in every problem
We have a handsome son named Atlas, who turned 7 this year. We love him very much. During the pandemic, my wife and I have switched to remote work. For almost 3 years, we did not even visit our own parents, we accepted very few people into our home. When we have to go out in compulsory situations, we followed the mask-distance rules recommended by the experts. We lived as isolated as possible for our son. We tried to protect him as best we could.
At a time when many experts are saying the pandemic is over, it’s time for our son to start primary school. It is a very difficult and problematic process for a child to live with his parents for three years and start going to school from this isolated life. Both for the child himself and for his parents who send him to school. Moreover, if you live in a big city like us and you are going to send your child to school by a school bus, this difficult process can become much more challenging. You can overcome such a problem only if you have superhero skills.
Observing (Understanding)
In the first week of school, we noticed that the stress movements our son Atlas did when he was a baby, such as biting his lip and playing with his tongue, returned. We learned from previous research that when such a tic develops, we cannot prevent it by saying “please stop doing this, don’t bite your lip”. We thought that starting school may be stressful, and he may get over when he makes friends. In order to reduce his stress, we drove him to school in our own car in the first week, we picked him up from school. Towards the end of the first week, we told him that he would go to school by school bus next week. But whenever we talked about this subject, we observed that Atlas’ stress increased, so he avoided talking about it. Similar things happened when we asked the guidance counselor at the school for support, Atlas did not want to talk, he postponed the service until the last moment he could.
Collecting data from other families (Understanding)
Since we are responsible for solving the service issue, I tried to talk to other parents and gather clues during the time I dropped him off at school. Two different approaches emerged from the feedback I collected: In the first suggestion, there was a family profile that said that if Atlas will not want to take the school bus, he might not be able to get on the bus no matter what you did. This kind of people were taking a step back probably for the comfort of their children. In the second suggestion, there was another profile who said that even if this process is stressful, push him in to this difficult situation. It will be difficult for a few days, but then he will get used to it. This kind of people were pushing their kids towards difficulties. We had to develop a new way. Because we didn’t always have the option to drove Atlas to school, and we weren’t wanting to force him into the stressful situation while he was under increasing tension.
Going to school in Atlas’ shoes (Understanding)
When the second week started, not only Atlas but also we were wondering how to start the school bus process, which we could not talk about much. When we got down to the parking lot, Atlas started walking towards our car, not in the direction of the school bus as we had agreed before. We said that we made an agreement last week and that we would go to school by bus that day. He started to cry, “Please drove me to school in our car today. I’ll take the bus the day after tomorrow.” he said. Can you push a crying boy to the school bus?I noticed the question in my wife’s eyes, “What are we going to do?”. At that moment, I put myself in my son’s place and said, “Agreed, if you want to start the day after tomorrow, we won’t start today.” He calmed down and we got in the car together. Turning to Atlas, I said, “If you want, let’s follow the school bus today, find out its route.” Because our neighbors had children who went to the same school as Atlas, I thought that if we showed their school bus experience, he would be relieved. But when the bus came to our street, we realized that no one was getting on. Later we learned that the children of our neighbors had a cold, so they did not go to school. We still followed the service, even turning it into a game for Atlas. We talked about this chase together along the way. When we got to the school, I said “I’m glad we didn’t get on the bus today, it could be more difficult for you without their’ children. Maybe they will join us the day after tomorrow, so the bus will be more fun with them” and I immediately added: “I will pick you up at the end of your class, if you want, we will chase the bus again”. “Yes, I would love to,” said Atlas. I noticed that he was no longer biting his lips and was starting to enjoy the process. We had not yet managed to get on the bus, but Atlas understood that we empathized with him and that we were with him in this regard.
You will ‘never know until you try (Discover)
In the second week, I drove Atlas to school for two more days. We followed his school bus with our car for two days. The bus driver also noticed us and started to greet us from time to time along the way. Before Wednesday, on Tuesday evening, when I asked him “The day is arrived, will we get on the bus tomorrow”, he bit his lip again and pushed his luck by saying “can we get on the day after tomorrow”. Instead of noticing the stress and taking a step back, we developed a way to solve his stress: “If you want, let’s call our neighbor and ask their kids status”. “What do we call you when you don’t want to taste things you’ve never tasted?” I asked, Atlas replied, “You won’t know until you try.” and accepted our proposal. We called our neighbor and learned that his children were going to get on the bus with Atlas. While our son was thinking that he would push his luck again, Atlas agreed to take the school bus but shooted this difficult question: “I have the option of not eating the food I don’t like. So if I don’t like the school bus, will you always drove me to school?”. I told him that we would be by his side in every problem he faced and that we would solve them together.
A subject that Google Turkey does not know (Exploring)
Before the morning of the school bus, I researched this topic on the Internet. I could not find any data in Google Turkey with the query “The child’s adaptation to the school bus / Çocuğun okul servisine uyum sağlaması in Turkish”. The search results on Google Turkey side did not know how the child could be put on the school bus. When I made the same query in English, I got lots of result as very similar suggestions. The “Help Your Preschooler Adapt to the School Bus” page was one of them. All the tips we found there helped us a lot.
Tip one: Go over bus safety procedures with your child in advance so he knows what’s expected on his first bus ride. Ask the bus driver or attendant to explain the rules to you and your child.
Tip two: Bring your child to the bus every morning (or have a caregiver bring him) and meet him at the end of every day. Some children feel more at ease if they know exactly what time you’ll be at the bus stop. Tell her that you’ll arrive 10 minutes before he does so he knows he’ll see you as the bus pulls up.
Tip three: Ask another child, an older sibling, or a family friend to help your child find her seat and feel confident. Have his Bus Buddy accompany him onto the bus, so he feels that security as he makes the transition from you into the larger world.
Tip Four: Some districts have a formal event for new riders, but if not, just introduce yourself, your child, and the bus staff so you can get to know one another. This will help your child feel more comfortable speaking up if there’s a problem or asking questions if he feels uncertain.
Tip Five: Kids who have trouble sitting still during the ride may benefit from a book, small toy, or game to keep them busy. Make sure to check the school’s policies on which toys are allowed on the bus or at school, since certain types may be prohibited.
Tip Six: Books can give your child an introduction to what riding the bus will be like. Take a look at “Molly Rides the Bus” by Julie Brill-Hart, or “My School Bus: A Book About School Bus Safety” by Heather Feldman.
Tip Seven: For a particularly anxious child, try following the bus for the first day or two and greeting your child at the other end of the stop. Most likely, your child will be confident after the first couple days. In the meantime, he’ll feel better knowing you are there.
Identifying the problem and reaching the solution (Produce)
Right after learning these tips, on the morning of the bus, Atlas was again tense and stressed. “Would you like us to follow the school bus behind your back?” I asked. “Yes, I would love to,” he replied, I cannot tell you how in that moment his stress was reduced and he felt great relief. I thought to myself how well research works. We told our neighbor’s children and school bus stuff that we would follow the service to support Atlas. We informed everyone in the process, down to their teachers. The next day, we followed the bus of Atlas, both on the school way and on the way back. Atlas was getting on the bus, and he knew that we were following him in our own vehicle. The interesting thing is that he did not go beyond waving and did not come to us when he were getting on or off. Because his only request was that we support him in the transition ‘as suggested in the tip in my research’.
Getting rid of old ideas
When we tell about our transition method, even our own relatives said that, “This is not good for Atlas, you should not follow him.” They were trying to dissuade us from our method, which allows us to a solution to our problem based on our research. In most moments of life, the biggest obstacle we face is “our own mistakes that we think are right. Sometimes, we may not see the future due to our prejudices.” That’s why the solution we seek in many problems is not with new ideas, but it arrives when we get rid of the influence of old ideas.
Superpower of the Designer
Tim Brown, ‘CEO of IDEO’, define design thinking like that : “Design thinking is a human-centered approach to innovation that draws from the designer’s toolkit to integrate the needs of people, the possibilities of technology, and the requirements for business success.”
What I shared here about our son Atlas’s adaptation to school and the bus was to show that as a designer, we can solve the problems we face at every moment of our lives with a “design-oriented thinking” approach. Even if you are not a designer, you can solve all your problems by following the steps of “understanding, exploring, producing” with the superpower of “design thinking”. Although its popularity has increased in the last ten years, if you have heard the concept of “Design Thinking” for the first time, you can reach many resources in Turkish and English on this subject.
Let’s return to Atlas, he now goes to school by bus. Moreover, on the second day of getting on the bus, “Daddy, I love going to school by bus, our bus sounds just like Porsche 911.” said. He no longer bites his lips and does not hesitate to talk to us about the service issue. He shares with us what happened in the bus, as he tells what happened at school every day.
If you are interested in the subject, I suggest you also read the article “All change is hard at first” that I wrote earlier.
