Will You Be Mine?
I’ve used my camera to document America from every angle. Now I’m making my most personal work yet.
This is an excerpt from a photo-essay published in Anxy, a fresh, beautiful magazine that examines our inner worlds. Read the whole thing in Issue №1, which features Margaret E. Atwood, Ijeoma Oluo, Matt Eich, and many more exploring our relationship with anger. Buy your copy now.
My wife and I make a point of trying not to go to bed angry at one another. If I get upset at the kids, speaking to them in anger isn’t going to accomplish anything. I need to take a moment, catch my breath and then calmly and clearly explain the situation to them.
In the business of photography, you can run up against a lot of obstacles, and I try to remember that everyone I’m dealing with is a human being, working under constraints.
I try not to be an asshole.
While I make a point of not holding onto anger or grudges against others, I do tend to hold onto anger towards myself. It’s a constant critical voice that replays past failures. It’s not particularly constructive to occupy this headspace for very long.
Frankly, at the age of 30, I’m still developing tools for coping with the stresses of relationships, parenthood, and being a creative professional. Taking care of yourself is crucial, and I’m not very good at that.
Reading, writing, and exercise all help me to feel more balanced, but I’ll go weeks or months without any of these things when I’m stressed.
Men are supposed to be sensitive to the needs and emotions of those around us, but without letting our own feelings get in the way of our responsibilities. It’s tricky.
I never met my grandfather, but he apparently had a legendary temper. My dad is an optimist, always supportive and caring, though I recall seeing bouts of misdirected anger when I was a child. I see my grandfather and father in myself from time to time, but I can only hope and try to get past some of their emotional hangups in my own life and relationships.
This is an excerpt from a photo-essay published in Anxy, a fresh, beautiful magazine that examines our inner worlds. Read the whole thing in Issue №1, which features Margaret E. Atwood, Ijeoma Oluo, Matt Eich, and many more exploring our relationship with anger.
A monograph of Matt Eich’s project, Will you be mine? will be published by ceiba in 2017. This work recently received the support of a VMFA Professional Visual Arts Fellowship.
