Five elements that impact a good marriage

Kiddy Vijay
Any Idea Any Style
Published in
6 min readAug 13, 2023

In a marriage, a strong and lasting bond is built upon a foundation of trust, understanding, and shared values. While every couple may have different priorities and beliefs, there are five important aspects that, if agreed upon, can contribute to a longer and more fulfilling partnership. These five areas are religion and belief, boundaries with parents, parenting decisions, handling finances, and maintaining friendships.

Religion and belief form the core of our individual identities.

When a husband and wife share a similar understanding and acceptance towards their religious or spiritual beliefs, it eliminates potential conflicts of thought in the future. By having common ground in this aspect, couples can support each other’s faith journeys and navigate life’s challenges together. Their shared beliefs can provide a strong sense of unity, making it easier to navigate potentially turbulent times. This agreement on religion and belief not only strengthens the couple’s bond but also allows them to grow in their spiritual lives together.

Shared religious beliefs and values provide a strong foundation of common ground in a marriage. When both partners have a similar understanding of spirituality and adhere to the same religious principles, they often feel a sense of unity and connection. This shared foundation can help the couple navigate challenges and conflicts more effectively, as they can draw upon their shared beliefs and values to find resolutions.

Religion often provides a moral compass for individuals, guiding them in making ethical choices and decisions. When both partners have similar religious beliefs, they are likely to approach moral issues in a consistent manner. This alignment helps foster trust, respect, and understanding, thereby reducing potential conflicts that might arise from differing perspectives on moral and ethical matters.

Religion often involves rituals, traditions, and practices that are performed collectively. Engaging in religious rituals together can create a sense of shared experiences and strengthen the bond between partners. Participating in prayer, worship, or religious ceremonies as a couple can promote a deeper emotional connection and a sense of belonging, contributing to marital satisfaction and longevity.

Religion often provides a sense of comfort, solace, and hope during challenging times. Sharing the same religious beliefs allows both partners to support and uplift each other spiritually, providing emotional support and encouragement during difficult periods. This mutual support can help couples weather the storms of life together, enhancing the resilience and longevity of the marriage.

However, it should be noted that the impact of shared religious beliefs on the longevity of a marriage can also depend on the extent to which both partners actively practice and engage with their religion. Additionally, an excessively rigid adherence to religious principles or a lack of tolerance for differing beliefs can potentially strain a relationship.

Therefore, open and respectful communication about religious beliefs and values is crucial to maintaining a healthy, enduring marriage.

Boundaries with parents play a crucial role.

It is essential for couples to establish clear boundaries with their respective parents early on in their marriage. Parents often have strong opinions and may attempt to influence their son or daughter with their own ideas, beliefs, and comments on the couple’s lifestyle. This interference can create doubts and conflicts within the marriage, which could strain the relationship. By setting boundaries beforehand, couples ensure that any parental influences are constructive and respectful, thus fostering a more harmonious and supportive marital environment.

Establishing boundaries with parents early on in a marriage is crucial for maintaining a harmonious relationship with one’s spouse and avoiding potential conflicts and misunderstandings down the line. Boundary setting allows couples to assert their independence, establish their own identity as a married couple, and create a sense of unity while respecting their parents’ role in their lives.

By clearly defining expectations and boundaries with their parents, spouses can minimize interference in their marital lives. This can include establishing guidelines for visits, phone calls, and opinions, ensuring that their decisions as a couple are respected, and allowing room for personal growth and decision-making without unnecessary parental input. Boundaries also help prevent parental control from seeping into the marriage, preserving spouses’ autonomy and the foundation of their relationship.

Furthermore, setting boundaries early on can help avoid misunderstandings that may arise from conflicting expectations or assumptions. Open and honest communication with parents about boundaries allows for clarification and mutual understanding. This transparency helps in preventing conflicts that may arise when expectations are not met or assumptions are made, leading to potential tension and resentment between spouses and their parents.

So, establishing boundaries with parents early on in a marriage plays a vital role in preventing misunderstandings and potential conflicts down the line.

By asserting their independence, creating a unified front, and fostering open communication, couples can ensure a healthy, respectful, and amicable relationship with both their spouse and their parents.

Parenting decisions are another vital aspect

that should be mutually agreed upon by spouses. When couples make parenting decisions together, it not only reinforces a sense of teamwork but also ensures that their children receive consistent guidance and care. Disagreements in parenting approaches can lead to confusion for children and strain the relationship between partners. Therefore, open communication and shared decision-making are crucial in creating a nurturing and stable environment for both children and parents.

Mutual decision-making and agreement in parenting can enhance the stability and strength of a marriage in several ways:

When couples engage in mutual decision-making and agreement in parenting, they are forced to communicate and discuss important issues and decisions regarding their children. This increased communication fosters a deeper understanding and connection between partners, strengthening their overall communication skills.

When both partners actively participate in decision-making and parenting, it creates a sense of shared responsibility. Each partner feels valued and trusted, which promotes a more equal and balanced partnership. This shared responsibility reduces the likelihood of resentment and power struggles within the marriage.

By making decisions together and reaching agreements in parenting, couples demonstrate a sense of teamwork and unity. This team mindset enhances the bond between partners as they work together towards common goals and objectives. It creates a sense of solidarity and partnership, which is crucial for a stable and strong marriage.

Mutual decision-making and agreement in parenting ensures that both partners are on the same page when it comes to raising their children. This consistency in parenting approaches, rules, and expectations creates a stable and harmonious environment for both the parents and the children. It reduces conflicts and confusion within the family, promoting a sense of stability and strength within the marriage.

When partners make decisions together and reach agreements in parenting, it builds trust and respect between them. They view each other as competent and capable parents, fostering a positive perception of one another. This mutual trust and respect not only strengthens the marital bond but also sets a positive example for the children, creating a healthier family environment.

Ultimately, mutual decision-making and agreement in parenting enhance the stability and strength of a marriage by promoting communication, shared responsibility, teamwork, parental consistency, and trust. These factors contribute to a healthier and happier family dynamic, benefiting both partners and their children.

Financial transparency is more essential as well

for maintaining a healthy and secure marriage. Couples must have a clear understanding of how they handle money and make financial decisions. If one partner has a more frugal mindset while the other is a big spender, it can lead to disagreements and conflicts. By openly discussing and agreeing upon financial goals, budgets, and saving plans, couples can avoid financial stress and work together towards their shared aspirations. Transparency in financial matters builds trust and establishes a solid foundation for a lasting partnership.

Friendships play an important role in a couple’s married life.

While having friends is natural and healthy, it is crucial for spouses to prioritize their relationship and not neglect their family for the sake of friends. Spending time together as a family and including friends in these activities can strengthen relationships and create a sense of community. However, indulging in excessive alone time with friends or consistently putting friends’ needs before family commitments can strain the marital bond. By striking a balance between friendships and family, couples can foster a supportive network while ensuring that their marriage remains a priority.

So, couples who agree on five important aspects of their married life, namely religion and belief, boundaries with parents, parenting decisions, financial transparency, and friendships, are more likely to live longer and happier together. These agreements provide a solid foundation for trust, understanding, and mutual support, offering a roadmap for navigating life’s challenges.

By prioritizing these aspects and working together as a team, couples can build a stronger and more fulfilling marriage, fostering unity, and mutual growth.

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Kiddy Vijay
Any Idea Any Style

In spite of erroring reasons spite, whatever is, is just right. Life coach, Nature-lover, writer, poet, homeschooling mom, dreamer, believer, bibliophile