10 Actionable Ways To Win at The Game of Happiness
I’m no expert at happiness but yes, happiness is a game. Some people are just better at playing the game than others and that makes the difference.
What is Happiness?
Happiness is not a destination to reach. If it were, so many of us would already be there.
I am no millionaire either but I’m sure even the rich class of people you’d wish to dine with haven’t hit the jackpot yet. The lavish parties, luxurious cars, and brand clothes in the gram aren’t any sign that these people you so admire have finally won happiness.
You can’t chase happiness the way you would a bird and grasp it in your hand forever. Happiness can’t be tamed. It momentarily perches on your shoulder like a butterfly and then flees.
If life is a journey, I’d equate happiness to the small winnings you make along this journey.
We can compare life to a basket full of sweets and pebbles. Anyone trying to find happiness should sort through and make the right picks.
Life is also like a maze. If your happiness depends on figuring out the maze then happiness will always be out of your reach. But if you walk through the maze appreciating the soft curls of grass beneath your feet and the neatly cut corners your journey will be a blissful one.
The takeaway here is; We shouldn’t do something we hate today with the notion that it holds the magic key to future happiness.
Why?
Because first of all, you don’t have to break your back to find happiness. Secondly, happiness is not a matter of luck. You just need to align yourself better and it will seek you.
How should we align ourselves to receiving happiness?
By doing the right things, being in the right places, keeping the right company, eating the right things, having a positive attitude etc…etc.
And to keep a sustained sense of happiness, you’ll need to build a reservoir. Just like the rain, happiness falls in seasons. Your task should be to fill up your reservoir of happiness with the small winnings you make along your journey of life. In the other times when your well of happiness runs dry, you’ll tap into this reservoir. That’s the formula for staying happy.
That said, there are several adjustments you can also make to reach the ‘happiness auto-pilot’ mode.
1. Take Responsibility
Yes always hold yourself accountable. You will do stupid and regrettable things at times. Accept responsibility and promise to do better next time. We’re never perfect and there’s room for mistakes. When you ruin a relationship accept you fucked it up and brace yourself for the consequences. If there’s a way to fix it then act accordingly and if not start focusing on healing ASAP. By taking responsibility you move past any anxieties that slow down your chances of being happy.
2. Own Yourself
I understand sometimes we don’t like the person in the mirror. But embracing our perfect imperfections can be so liberating. The world has its standards of “ attractiveness “ but what has that got to do with you? It may have everything to do with your happiness though. Just don’t let it.
Look in the mirror and decide that the person looking back is your ideal standard. Let the world catch up to you and not vice versa.
Whatever you are; short, tall, plump, slim, slump, sloppy, schizo-: be unapologetically not sorry to be you.
The people you interact with will always lay traps for you to fall over. But don’t be such a reactive person. Tread carefully. Decide wisely what is worth reacting to and whats not. Confrontations can take a huge toll on your happiness. If someone makes a comment that rubs you the wrong way, spare your energy. Move on like they never said anything important.
Always skip the chance to get angry.
4. Don’t Compromise Too Much
Some offers aren’t just worth the time or effort. Saying no may also be hard because we don’t want to disappoint the other party. While you can occasionally make sacrifices, don’t compromise too much.
When your gut can’t stomach whatever you’re beings asked to do, find a way to politely say no. Save yourself the future emotional repercussions.
5. Boundaries…Boundaries
Don’t be that person who says yes to everything. Have a NO somewhere in your vocabulary. Know the kind of healthy/unhealthy conversations you can/can’t partake. Give everyone you meet the benefit of the doubt but also have limits to the amount of disrespect you can/can’t tolerate. Be reckless and do that ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ illicit activity but also know when you’ve hit the limits because guess what? There could be consequences.
Take only as much risk as you can take responsibility for. Otherwise, you may become just another victim of circumstances.
6. Have a Well-Being Routine
What activities empower you? Reading? Morning Jogs? Meditation?
Put that all together and create a well-being regimen to perform every day. This is how to go about it if you want to have a sustained sense of happiness. It may be difficult to keep up but, as I’ve said in my previous post, always kick your ass and get shit done. This little ass we have needs a good kicking sometimes.
7. Practice Gratitude
It’s more tempting to think about problems when we wake up in the morning than to spot the positive things in our lives. It’s also more tempting to think about the money we don’t have in the bank than to think of how healthy and privileged we are to have a roof, food, pet, family or partner to go back home to.
Every day we miss the opportunity to appreciate the little good things that happen to us. Like every other bad habit, we can change this thought pattern to something more positive and pleasant.
If you want to boost your happiness reservoir, start appreciating the numerous small things happening in the course of your day. For example, it always feels good when you bump into a total stranger who smiles and says hi as you cross paths right? That’s free positive energy thrown your way. Take it, be thankful, and add it to your reservoir together with many other good things you’ll encounter along.
Always see how lucky you are when small victories happen to you. Don’t bank your happiness in the future.
8. Help Others
Helping others feels good and even science has proven that helping others make us happier. Show up for that friend going through a tough season. Drop a bounty at that kid selling water on the street corner to get through school. Help that colleague who is ripe for promotion to pass their probation. Help…help..help.
Also, beware that when you put out a sign you’re open to helping, every opportunistic dick-ens will ask for a drink. Have the wisdom to know who’s genuinely in need and who’s flat-right ridding the help train.
9. Lower Your Expectations
The only person you can have high expectations for is yourself. Otherwise, every other person out here is busy pursuing whats best for themselves.
You are likely to be disappointed if you place all your trust in someone and expect them to always act for your good. Lower your expectations of other people and save yourself the humiliation. In this life, not everything will happen the way you want and that’s fine.
10. Be Content With Your Progress
If you want to join the list of most miserable beings on this planet, start comparing yourself to other people.
On the other hand, if you want to see just how rich your life is, learn to recognize and appreciate every little step you make. Understand that you can’t take one big leap into the mega-life. It is a gradual process.
As long as you set goals and do your best to achieve them even life itself will support your journey there.
Although this list could go on and on, I’ll wind it up here.
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