I write on my phone.

There, I said it.

There’s a lot of stuff out there telling you to keep a notebook if you’re a writer, so you can make notes, take observations, write your entire novel in longhand. But recently, I’ve written sooooo much stuff on my phone.

Why? I pretend to hear you ask. Good question.

1. It’s always there. Like right now, while I wait in a queue, it’s in my hand. Also, in the loo, while I wait for my daughter’s bus, when some asshat at the gym hogs all the plates and I want to make notes about him because the character basically writes itself. He didn’t even notice I sat there staring at him, typing madly away. He’d have noticed if I’d whipped out a notebook, though, and probably gone into some ’roid-enduced rage, hurling plates all over the gym. It’s safer, really.
2. It’s easy to use. If you’re a half-decent texter, you’re pretty much all set. In fact, if you added up all the messages you sent to your mum about whether prepping the fruit for Christmas pudding in July is too late, you’re probably halfway to a novel already. Thumbs move fast, yo.
3. You can talk directly into to your phone, which does auto transcription. This is useful because a) you don’t look like a raging idiot; and b) conversations are sometimes easier to write if you have them, well, conversationally. Even if that’s with yourself. (And, yes, I know that is, in fact, legit crazy beans, but whatever works). Sure, you’ll probably have to do a lot of edits later, pick up typos, check line breaks and things, but honestly, that’s so much easier than trying to decipher your handwritten notes. Also, it’s easier to just ignore problems as you go, and fix them in your second round edits.
4. It’s good for the in-between times. Now, I’m absolutely not suggesting you should work all the time, because that would be all sorts of internalised capitalism that I don’t want to sell you. But, if you go for a walk and your brains start pumping out ideas, well, your mobile is right there to take notes on. You don’t need to hunt in your bag, then curse because your pen started to leak or your daughter stole your notebook and put stickers all over it. Phone, hand, boom.
5. And this is the kicker — no one interrupts you. It’s amazing how often people will come up and talk to me while I’m trying to write something by hand, but when you’re on your phone typing like a madwoman, you’re clearly working and people should back the F off. Wearing headphones also helps. Socially acceptable antisocial behaviour.

I’m not saying writing on my phone is my favourite way to write. I’m just saying, it works. Many short stories have come off this thing, along with blog posts, novel chapters, and post-doc ideas. Mostly because it’s convenient and effective.

Oh, sorry, gotta go. My dad just texted. Ignore the point about interruptions, I guess…