Your First Story is Always Trash
And that’s ok.
How do you get over the fear of publishing your first story? By remembering that EVERYONE starts with trash.
Sure there may be a few cases of beginner's luck. But for the most part, anyone who starts writing is going to suck.
I can hear it now.“I’m gonna be different. I’m going to start with a bang, and succeed from the beginning!”
Jokes on you.
You’re going to start with at least 30 drafts of stories and ideas, that are really just a long string of incoherent consciousness.
You’re going to obsess over formatting and synonyms. Looking up outline drafts and eye-catching titles. You’ll probably even do a deep dive on SEO keywords and throw a bunch in.
You’re going to completely neglect actually publishing any of the writing you’re working on because you don’t think it’s good enough.
Or worse, you’re going to publish your writing. Then get disheartened when you don’t instantly become a trending topic.
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.” ― Octavia E. Butler
I’ve always been interested in writing
From a young age, I was a complete bookworm. I would get lost in a world and imagine the different ways I would tell the story if I were the author- creating fanfic before I even knew what it was.
I would scribble down ideas and stories, and hide them on pieces of paper around my playroom, hoping no one found them. As time moved on, I would write more and more, but also become more and more self-conscious about my writing. Making sure to destroy any evidence after I was done.
Why did I do this?
Because I wholeheartedly believed my writing was absolute garbage. And I was probably right! I didn’t realize that even my most favorite authors had writing they wouldn’t give to their worst enemy to read.
No one ever told me that writing is like anything else in life.
You have to practice and keep practicing, to get better
You have to be determined to write and keep writing. Even when you think there’s nothing to say.
You wouldn’t just hit a few baseballs and immediately assume you’re ready for the major leagues. So why is writing any different?
Too many of us fall into the trap of thinking it’s easy to get started, and then give up when there’s a small bump in the road. We’ll only write when it’s convenient for us, or when we think it’s the next big way to make money.
Once you get into a habit of writing and keep it up, you’ll be able to look back and see a difference. Instead of destroying your terrible first drafts, you’ll be able to pinpoint exactly where you fell back in love with stringing words together in a way that only you can do.
BUT, and here’s a big one, just because you write and write and write, doesn’t mean you’ll continuously improve.
Along with practice, you need feedback
You need feedback to know what you’re doing well, and what you can improve on. And if you’re someone like me, who constantly thinks their writing is so incredibly bad that no one should be subjected to it, that can cause a couple problems.
Because I’ve never shared my writing- except for work-related reasons- I have no idea if I’m even good at it. Subjectively.
I think it’s entertaining, but what would an actual audience think? When you can’t see my facial expressions, or hear the tone of my voice, does the message still get across?
When you don’t get or aren’t open to feedback, you can never really know.
Sure, I may be contradicting myself. I just said everyone starts with trash. But, when you get feedback on your trash, you can find out what is actually recycling.
Maybe you’re really good at making a first impression. You can grab someone's attention instantly, and get them drooling for more. But, maybe you have terrible grammar. So, while you look at your writing and all you see is the best (or worst) piece of writing that has ever existed, someone else can point out where the strengths and weaknesses are.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much you write, if you’re not willing to improve. And, just like all of our favorite authors, feedback is a crucial part of the process.
Here’s your Permission to Suck
If you haven’t heard it yet, here it is.
You’re allowed to be bad at writing. You’re allowed to want to write the next great novel, but have no idea where to start. You’re allowed to publish that absolute dumpster fire you call a story and hope for the best.
But, just remember. If you don’t have plans to continue to practice and improve, you’re never going to get anywhere. Just because you have the permission to suck, doesn’t mean you don’t have to do the work to improve.
For me, part of the work is to actually publish something I didn’t feel was “good”. I could spend at least a week reading and re-reading this exact piece of work, and still want to completely trash everything.
In fact, I’ll probably look back at this in 5 months and cringe.
But, I’m allowed to suck. The first step to being better is to actually begin. And maybe someday, I’ll be able to look back and realize I’ve only gotten better from here.
