Before We Go Too Far
7 Things to Talk About Before Getting Into a Relationship
Falling for someone can be a rollercoaster— up and down, slow then fast. The shift from talking to someone exciting every day to dating and getting into a relationship can happen so fast that it is, somewhat blurred. With the constant eye fluttering and incessant nervousness around each other, you might find time is passing too quickly. However, there are some necessary things to iron out, as some conversations trump others in relationships.
Before you get lost in the wonder of each other, here are seven conversations to have before you begin a romantic relationship, should you want it to last.
- Finances: financial compatibility is extremely important in all relationships. Before you date anyone, it is important to talk about your current financial position, values, financial commitments to your family and friends (if any), whether or not you are in debt, etc. with your potential partner. Should your relationship progress into a marriage, it is best everyone is on the same page as to who will pay for what.
- Sex: talking about sex does not begin and end with what you can do in the bedroom. It is important both parties are on the same page about their sexual history; talk about your sex health, likes and dislikes, whether or not you intend to have sex in the relationship and most importantly, your sexual orientation. It is important to have this conversation with all honesty and zero judgement.
- Past relationships: from crazy ex-girlfriends to rich baby daddies, if you have dated them, you should tell the person you're planning to date about them. While there is no need to tell your potential partner why you ended it with your ex on the first date, it is important for them to know important things like a previous engagement, a child, etc. before you make commitments with them.
- Defining cheating: for most people, cheating has not occurred until there is sexual intercourse with another person, but for others, flirting, sexting, long conversations at night and being emotionally present for someone that isn't your partner is cheating. Recognizing these boundaries early can guarantee a smooth relationship.
- Politics and social issues: it is important to share your stance on whether you are Obidient or a BAT supporter but politics is so much more than that. It is imperative to know where you both stand on other topics, from feminism to abortion to legalizing marijuana to even the football team they support. These conversations give you a heads up on the type of person you are getting involved with. It is better to discuss these at the outset than to regret later.
- Beliefs: your core beliefs are fundamental as they help guide your life decisions. Becoming aware of each other's values and beliefs gives you a futuristic view of what being with this person would look like. If you do not share similar values and beliefs, being together would be a waste of time and a recipe for difficulties in the relationship.
- Future plans: from career to whether or not kids are in the picture for you, the plans for your future should be discussed with someone you intend to date intentionally and seriously. It might be difficult bringing up this conversation but making a mistake here can tragically alter your life plans.
Most happy relationships with balanced foundations result from constant conversations between partners about the things they both value. How about yours? Did you miss something that turned your relationship salty? Leave us a comment about it.
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