Can I Get To Know You?

The Best Questions to Ask on a First Date

Photo by Matthieu Huang on Unsplash

First dates are unequivocally filled with nerves, excitement and tension. Does he/she like me? Am I going too fast? You are skating a thin line between getting to know a person and invading their private space but you don’t want to ask simple yes or no questions or questions that can be answered in one word.

Of course, you can ask any question you like and asking about favorites is always a good option. Examples: season, movie, book, color, holiday, music, subject in school, etc. but it’s better to take things up a notch.

Here are some questions that require more open-ended answers, questions that give insight into the kind of person your date is, and to get you talking:

• What does a typical weekend look like for you?

These questions will tell you what they do in their free time, outside of work. It can reveal their hobbies, interests and activities they enjoy. Do they like going out or staying in?

• What does a typical day look like to you?

This is an expanded version of the question above, a more detailed question than “what do you do for work?” and you can easily find out a lot about their lifestyle.

• What were you like as a kid?

Asking about their family life can be a bit personal. While you want to get to know your date, you want to get to know them without overstepping your boundaries. This question is a safe option.

• Ask if the environment is too noisy for them.

This is a considerate question and a good way of shifting your time elsewhere, somewhere quieter.

• What good books/TV shows/movie have you read/seen lately?

This is a question that will escalate into a common interests; and if not, more things that interest your date for them to talk about.

• What kind of parent do you think you will be?

This question will tell you what kind of person your date thinks they are.

• What is something interesting that happened today?

Asking generally about their day is generic, but asking about something interesting will give you more substance in their responses. Their general attitude and things they find interesting.

Growing Together

• Do you have a best friend? How did you two meet?

Finding out their best friend gives you an idea of what they look for in companionship — honesty, sense of humor, anything like that.

• What is your biggest passion?

Everyone has something that they enjoy talking about or doing more than anything. It could be simple like their hobby. Talking about passions can tell you everything you need to know about your date.

• Do you have any odd talents?

Exposing their uniqueness will give you both something to share and perhaps learn while you’re discussing.

• Is there something you have always wanted to learn?

This can give you more insight into their interests and what they want to do.

• Is there any food you don’t eat?

This is a sneaky way of finding out if they have any food allergies or just something they don’t like at all. That way, you know what to bring or cook for next time.

• What is the craziest dream you’ve ever had?

Dreams can reveal what is going on in a person’s mind, so asking about the dreams they have had will tell you their fears and fantasies on what they might want to happen.

• What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

Asking about the advice they have received is great for finding out what kind of advice they find valuable, and what they look for in asking for help.

Voilà! These questions will break the ice and help you get to know your date.

Remember that the goal is not to bombard your date with questions, but to ease you into a conversation so you can get to know each other. Let your date also ask you questions so they can learn about you as you do them.

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