Could This Be Love?
If you ask any number of people what love means to them, chances are that although they may have different definitions and explanations, some words are constant. Peace. Safety. Warmth. Freedom to be. Understanding. Home.
For me, it is making space for your person and wanting to go the extra mile for them. It is wanting to help them and make life easy for them. It is feeling at peace with them, knowing that you can be yourself without fear of judgment and that come what may, they have your back.
It’s interesting how people can go from a simple ‘hello’ (or DM) to constantly talking and wondering what they did before they met that person, and possibly even spending the rest of their lives together.
The first date and the other firsts that gradually morph into having their lives intertwined.
When love comes in a form we don’t recognize, or one we’re not used to, the first instinct is usually to run away. Without the sparks, grand romantic gestures, and theatrics we’ve seen and read about many times over, we are wondering about what could staring at us right in the face, forgetting that many times, love is in the little things.
“It takes a brave soul to choose love, which is why many of your kind prefer to believe that they merely fall into love as a shield from all the other sometimes painful choices that come along with it.” — Kelechi Okafor, The Watchers.
There’s a lot of talk about meeting people when they’re not ready to accommodate you in their lives but sometimes, we’re the ones who aren’t ready. And it’s not because we’re terrible people, it’s just life sometimes.
From past experiences to fear or even sheer ignorance, some of us are simply used to a certain way of doing things that we are unable to see any other way. Sometimes, we don’t even know that’s what we are doing.
There’s also something to be said for meeting people at a certain point in time and a major life event occurs and shifts the course of our lives or theirs. Such events affect friendships and romantic relationships in ways that can not be put into words but love always remains.
With love, you have to be patient. I used to be quick to run. Even when I lived alone, I always told myself there’s love at home so with any inconvenience, I’m running home to eat and sleep. Being secure in yourself and refusing to settle is great, but it’s so much more than that. You can’t give up before you try.
Love may not always be simple and straight-forward. Even when it’s not what we’re used to, some things are constant. Love is stable; it does not leave you wondering where you stand. It does not demand that you bend over backwards to be acceptable; it takes you as you are. Love stretches you but it does not require you to lose yourself or individuality.
