Growing Together
On Collaboration and Working With People
When I was younger, I found myself hiding my ideas/knowledge from my friends or even family members because I did not want them to steal it. I guess that came from the days in secondary school when you had to hide your ideas or what you knew so you could stand out as smart to your teacher and avoid the possibility of your classmates claiming your idea as theirs.
This reminds me of a scene in the movie A Perfect Pairing where Lola (Victoria Justice) was snitched on by her office “best friend” when she shared a budding idea with her. The best friend went ahead to make a presentation about this idea, and the blind boss gave the credit and the account to the snitch instead of the owner of the idea. Both women ended up working together at the end of the movie but that’s not how it always goes.
You may think you should not share your ideas with people around you, especially your friends, but if you don’t, you are only stunting your growth because you want to avoid competition. The truth is, even if you don’t share with your friends, there are a thousand people out there who have the same idea as you. What makes the difference, however, is your personality, knowledge, experience and the resources you have at your disposal.
For instance, as of June 2022, there are 144 fintech startups in Nigeria, according to Tech Next. Between then and now, there has definitely been an increase in that number. Will that number stop growing? Absolutely not. Every person’s idea is peculiar to them and the problems they plan to solve. The same thing applies to other companies in existence.
The reasons you have for not sharing your ideas are valid but have you considered that the friends you share your idea with may be able to help you out or provide some of the resources you may need? What about emotional support? It’s quite tough to build a business and most times, we need all the help and support we can get. Your friends should be people you bond with over shared values and those who would have your back, come what may.
If, for some reason, you don’t have friends with shared values, you may have to reconsider your criteria for friendship. It’s okay to walk away from a friendship that does not contribute to your life but leaves you drained instead.
On the flip side, you should not be competing with the people you call your friends. Some people argue that there’s “healthy competition” — where you are not necessarily trying to outdo the other person but I don’t think there is anything normal about competition. This is because the tiny line between healthy and unhealthy can easily get blurred. Things will then end up bad and in your quest to compete with a friend, you lose them.
A better way would be to collaborate with trusted friends or family members. For instance, friend A says he made 1 Million Naira in revenue in one month as a media strategist and your monthly income is between ₦100,000 and ₦500,000 as a developer. You should not be thinking of how to meet up with them or sabotage their business to somehow make you “equal” to them. You can, instead, ask them for advice on how to scale your income, a chance to collaborate on their next gig or a recommendation.
See, all of us will not get to the top at the same time but we can stand on each other’s shoulders. It helps to have someone to lean on while you are building and it does not hurt to have someone lean on you while they are building. Even if you are in the same industry, there would definitely be something that makes each person stand out. Why not lean on your unique capacity?
People are usually skeptical about working with family members but working with your friends is not an entirely terrible idea. This is not about opening up your entire life to them, you can be honest to an extent. However, only share with them what you are comfortable with or what you think they need to know. You have to create a balance between being vulnerable and having boundaries.
Why Collaboration is Important
- Nobody is self-made. It is more difficult to do everything on your own.
- It helps us learn from each other. You get to pick your friend’s brain for free, or sometimes over lunch or dinner. Whichever way, you would actually spend more if you get the same knowledge from an outsider.
- It gives you more time to bond together. You should be friends with people you like and can enjoy their company. If you can’t stand them, you should not friends with them.
*If you have more tips, you can add them in the comment section. Thank you!
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