The Little Things Matter
Spotting Tell-Tale Signs in Relationships
Someone I know was in a relationship that was on the brink of collapsing. They just had a big fight and they decided to get away from that environment and drive somewhere, anywhere away from their partner. As they drive, they start to wonder, how their relationship got to that point.
It was all rosy in the beginning. Their partner was kind, loving, caring and very romantic stuff, but now, they have become this monstrosity they don’t recognize anymore. The person could have been abusing them physically or emotionally, cheating or doing all the things people should not do while in a relationship.
Anyway, that is the end of my story, forgive me for my underwhelming storytelling.
While my story may be terrible, it does capture a moment that a many of us have experienced at one time or another. We have either been the person who could not wait to get away from their partner, like our protagonist or maybe even the monstrosity. I don’t judge. If you have not been there, I bet you know someone who has been in a similar situation, and I envy you.
The point of all of this is that moment where we start to wonder. How did I not see this coming? How did I end up dating someone so mean and did not realize? How did I end up with this [redacted] ?
I believe that there are many little signs here and there that we are either oblivious to or ignore. Especially in the talking stage or the early stages of the relationship. There are signs that we either see and choose to ignore, or we are not enlightened enough to recognize. So, let us talk about them, well some of them; the ones I have experienced, at least.
Signs
There are signs to look out for when choosing your partner.
- How they behave to other people: it is easy to get caught up in the euphoria of your partner being nice to you, especially at the start. You can easily miss how they treat other people. It is important to carefully observe this because there would be fights and arguments in the relationship, no matter how in love you are.
In those moments that love seems to go out the window, it won’t be surprising when they turn around and treat you the same way they treat other people. You definitely would not want that. It is even more important after breakups. However, nice people are the best to date when things are nice. - How they treat their family members: this should be obvious. If they don’t treat their current family members right, how do you expect them to treat you right? Take note, people! Pay attention to how their family members also act around your partner.
- Attention: this is for me and my people who have most of our relationships on the internet. Life as an indoors baby can be hard and, on the internet, the talking stage is real. Many of the people who get to go out and live life with real people don’t really know the talking stage.
When you are in the talking stage with someone, make sure to notice how dedicated they are to you — from how quickly they text to how invested they are in the conversations, and compare that to how much dedication they show once both of you decide to be exclusive. This is the most decisive moment of the relationship.
If there is a reduction in the dedication level, you might want to ditch the relationship. In my opinion, this is because most internet relationships start with boredom and once the excitement of the chase or being chased has been fulfilled, it is to lose interest. Watch out! - Flirty Behavior: Yes. There are certain traits you see in a man or a woman that gives you my blessing to judge them. If he has long flowing hair and lets one strand of it fall on his face, that’s a whore. If he leaves one too many buttons open when he wears a shirt, that is a slut. If his shorts game is beautiful, as in he can wear shorts to any event and he’d look great, yeah, that’s a slut. If he can cook and is always open to cooking for you, that’s a sign. I can’t say for ladies though. If you are a lady and you have some insight, send me a message.
It is important to note that these are my opinions, and these opinions come from a place of jealousy. I am usually jealous of guys who can wear shorts anywhere. I am also jealous of guys who can cook. For that reason, I will continue to lead campaigns against them.
Away from my hater energy, people in general should pay a lot more attention to the habits and behaviors of potential partners. Some of us are the actual villains and we know it, but we choose to either play the victim or expect people to love us that way or sometimes embrace being a villain. My advice is simple: we need to outgrow our villain phase and become better people.
Finally, for those who think they can save the villains. Yes, you guys that believe you are the second coming of Beauty in Beauty and the Beast. No, some people can’t be saved, trust me — I know. Don’t waste your precious time on us, I don’t know about you, but we have better things to do than being saved by someone who doesn’t understand us (sinister laughter).
Anyway, go out there and be the best you can be. Take advantage of the rainy weather these days. As for me, I can’t wait for the dry season.
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