Relationship Status: It’s Complicated
Friends Turned Lovers?
Friendships are already tough as they are, but it’s a whole different level of drama when a close friend of the opposite sex starts wanting something more than friendship. That’s what we call “it’s complicated” these days.
In secondary school, I only had a few male friends because one of us almost always developed feelings for the other person along the line. I knew better than to act on those feelings because they were nothing but infatuation and a childish crushes that fizzled out as time passed.
As an adult now, it appears that these emotions have a stronger expression. Back then, it was very easy to excuse my feelings for my male friends, but they’re now real, and I have to address them. I may have some discipline in my feelings and actions, but being responsible for another person’s emotional state is honestly a huge weight for me.
It’s both humbling and sweet when a good friend tells me he has romantic feelings for me, but I’m usually lost for words as to how to respond (especially when I don’t feel the same way). While I may respond politely with “thank you” or “that’s sweet,” I start seeing him in a different light.
This ultimately affects our closeness because I wouldn’t want my kind and friendly gestures to be misconstrued as a green light, and this can seriously ruin the friendship in the long run. I know I don’t have much control over how anyone feels, but I wish my friendships didn’t suffer a great deal because of that. It is just a complicated situation I hate finding myself in.
My only encouragement to myself is that “this too shall pass” and I’m learning to be very clear with friends of the opposite sex. I’m also working on setting boundaries so that we can maintain good and lasting friendships in the long run without hurting ourselves emotionally.
Kindly share in the comment section how you manage your relationship with the opposite sex, especially when emotions start flying high.
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