Keep It Burning
5 Tips to Revive/Keep Your Relationship Alive
Everyone likes the falling in love stage — when everything is new and exciting and you find it fantastic to mop the ceiling and water your dog. You spend all your time and passion thinking of this person, learning about them and trying to please them. The aftermath of falling — being in love, however, can be sometimes feel very flat. Your once new toy is now a little too familiar. You anticipate all the sounds and can mimic all the moves. You are bored and either want to stop playing with it or start trying to make it do new things.
It is normal to feel a lack of excitement in a relationship, especially if you both have similar temperaments and lead analytical lives. It however does not take away the doubt and uncertainty that comes with this new feeling. It is important to take a step back, evaluate your feelings and be sure that you want to continue with the relationship. Remember that love is not only an action word but also a choice. Choosing to stay in the relationship means you have chosen to stay in love. If this sounds like you, here are some tips to push your newly fanned flames from orange-red to a strong blue.
1.Remember the things that made you fall in love.
Take a deep breath and walk down memory lane. Sometimes familiarity makes us lose sight of things we like. Take time to contemplate the attributes you love and adore about your partner. Focus on the things that made you choose this person, then watch out for those things and let yourself fall again.
2. Talk to Them.
Talking is a tested and trusted means of communication but after a while, most people in relationships forget how to talk to each other. It is an avenue to be opened with each other, letting your partner know how you feel without blaming them for anything. The goal is to communicate, and not to confront. A simple date in a quiet place with the right mood would do wonders especially if you're both on the same page, bursting with the need to feel loved again.
3. Let go and heal.
Holding grudges could hold you back from truly loving and being loved. Once you have shared your grievances with your partner and have both agreed to forgive and move on, do your best to do just that. You can encourage the healing process by not constantly reminding your partner of the mishap and try your best to be transparent when your feelings are hurt. Remember you are both humans, give room for each other's shortcomings.
4. Date Your Partner.
After talking with your partner, you might discover some changes have occurred in you both. You both feel heard and seen. It’s time to apply the knowledge you gathered from your discussions by paying attention to your partner. Keep them interested like you used to at the beginning of the relationship. Dating your partner is never ending, more than anything, it keeps the excitement in your relationship, and helps create new memories that will help keep the relationship going on not-so-good days.
5. Rinse and Repeat.
Every time you think you might be in danger of falling out of love, repeat the four tips above. It is best to always remember why you chose to be with your partner, communicate honestly with them every day, forgive and overlook their shortcomings and always date your partner like it is the first time.
From long-distance to cheating to ill-health, there are a lot of things that can complicate your relationship and keep you confronting the choice to remain or leave. What should be at the front burner of your mind is that it is your choice to make and it is your life to live so do what ensures that you live a regretless and happy life.
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