Show Me Your Friend
On Having Beneficial Friendships
Many of us must have heard phrase, “show me your friend, and I will tell you who you are” a number of times when we were growing up. In case you did not, well, you are hearing (reading) it now.
I used to wonder how this was possible, because everybody is unique, making it impossible for us to be replicas of our friends or the people around us. Imagine my surprise when I realized as an adult that the company you keep can indeed give people an idea of your personality.
How? Try out this experiment: get two green and red pepper, keep them in a ziplock bag, and store them away for a couple of days. When you go back to check, one of two things would have happened: either the green pepper would have become red, or the red pepper becomes green, depending on the intensity of each one of them.
The same thing applies to friendships or relationships. This is because there is a form of intimacy that comes with being with people. Intimacy* in this case, being a feeling of being close, emotionally connected and supported. Source.
If you are not ambitious, and your friends are, chances are they pull you to where they are, or you rub off on them, which is harder to be honest. They are not bad people for carrying you along because they may not know that they have so much influence on you, the same way you don’t know.
This same thing applies to friends who are mediocre and are satisfied with where they are and what they have achieved. If you used to be hungry for knowledge and growth, by spending a lot of time and giving them access to you, before you know it, you are in the same lane with them. If you have a different set of friends who can call you out and help you retrace your steps before it’s too late, you don’t know what God has done for you.
As an individual who is looking to grow beyond the regular, it is important that you find people who are heading in the same direction and keep them close. For example, my friend, Jay has more experience and exposure than me, which has contributed to his knowledge bank. By virtue of our friendship, I can comfortably run ideas with him, ask for his opinion, and get recommended for opportunities. This is only possible because, over time, he has seen my curiosity and drive for growth.
The story would have been different if anytime we get to talk, I am unable to match up with conversations, or the only thing I do is complain about everything without taking a step in the right direction. He would have cut me off and blocked me from his life before I infect him with that virus. Well, this could be the reason some of your friends stopped calling you or engaging with you.
Getting the best out of friendships and relationships requires that you put in the work to be a better person. Nobody was born with a wealth of knowledge and one thing we must do is learn. Devote yourself to becoming better, not because of your friends, but because of yourself.
You are the thin line between where you are and where you want to be.
If you enjoyed reading any of our articles, please clap as many times as possible as it makes the post more visible to those who may like it or learn from it. You can also follow us, share, and leave a comment. We’re on Twitter and would love to interact with you!
