So, what are we now?
On Situationships
Are situationships more stressful than relationships or are they pure bliss??
I would like to hear that you don’t think that situationships are blissful. At least, that way, I am reassured that it’s not just me, but I would gallantly cheer you on if you say that they are going just great for you.
Not to be Captain Obvious but a situationship is a romantic relationship without any promise of commitment or the norms and expectations in regular romantic relationships. So, situationships of many different forms can be running concurrently. In fact, some people are not aware that they are in situationships (I don’t know how this is even possible).
It’s rather hilarious (not really) how the biggest selling point of the situationships brand is the lack of expectations yet expectations are the bane of the existence of people in situationships.
I personally don’t like situationships because I am a words-of-affirmation-and-reassurance person. I bet you just said it in your mind that we are the ones they lie to the most but please. They are probably lying to all of us. Anyway, moving on…my expectations and I are 5 and 6. Not that I go about expecting things from everyone; they simply jump out when I start to like someone.
That brings me to another tricky point. How do you expect anything from that person you like if both (or all 🌚) of you opened your eyes and agreed that you “have chemistry but don’t want to commit because of one reason or another reason.” How?
I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want it to look like I was becoming entitled to your time.
This is something I once heard from one situationshipper to his partner. Apparently, she had gone over to his place to pick up something and was in a terrible mood. She was not her usual lovey-dovey touching body self. He, on the other hand, was knee-deep in work and wondering why she was so withdrawn and quiet.
She said and I do not quote that he’d said he simply assumed that was her work face (their situationship was about seven weeks old but they’ve been friends for nearly three years) so he did not bother to push. He made efforts to have small talk and she simply continued to respond without initiating anything herself. Then she booked her ride suddenly and left after about twenty awkward minutes.
Here was this girl, in a shitty mood, hoping that he would notice that she needed him to take the lead this time and initiate the physical touch (not necessarily sexual intimacy) and there he was assuming that she was not her usual self either because she was trying to push out a deliverable or she was avoiding coitus. She was wondering if he did not attempt to stop her from leaving so soon after her arrival because he genuinely just wanted his space, and he was holding back from asking her to stay because since she did not even drag him to kiss her goodbye multiple times as was her usual fashion, her whole demeanor must have been planned.
The worst thing about situationships is all the room it leaves for all sorts of misunderstanding. People don’t want to address stuff because they don’t want to come off as the needy one who can’t keep to the terms of the arrangement. Therefore, everybody just downplays their feelings (which are usually enormous for one party at least), enjoy the parts that are good and simple and sweeps the tough bits under the proverbial carpet.
My advice for every person in a situationship is to consider having more open conversations; maybe even a Malibu-type thing, like Issa and Molly had in Insecure. I’d like to say this thing but I don’t want you to assume that I want to stress you or that I’m needy or I don’t like how so so and so made me feel and I would like us to talk about it so that it does not get bad, etc.
God help you, you are not involved with a mad person who will capitalize on things and just drive you crazy; but then, there is the fact that situationships are not by force, so you always have the option of jumping ship whenever you like. No commitments, right? Why have relationship problems when you are not even in a relationship?
After proper consideration, are you pro-situationships or are you against? By chance, have you enjoyed certain benefits from such a setup that you think the world might be sleeping on? Tell me!!!
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