The Unspoken Parts of Relocation
As much as many people are excited to travel out of their home country, relocating is a different ball game. People move for reasons ranging from education to new jobs, marriage or simply in search of better pastures. For some people, they just want to leave the current environment to explore other options.
Regardless of the reason, decisions like that come with many feelings from excitement to be doing something new and relatively different to the feeling of loss of the life you previously knew.
Behind the excitement and joy of moving to a different city, country or continent, are many unspoken fears. Aside from the regular thought of possibly losing your friends and family members, the thought of starting life afresh in a new city, there is the other side that is hidden like a leperous hand.
I spoke to a few Nigerians who are currently in foreign countries, asking them about this unspoken part that the public will never see.
*Alexandra: My mum was the first person I told I was leaving and when I asked her how she felt about the news, she said she was concerned about when next we’d see each other but she knows it’s for progress so she’ll make her peace with it.
I left in a matter of days so I didn’t have the time to process the feelings of separation. Now, I constantly remind myself that progress is good. That’s how I have kept it together. Whether or not I’ll ever see my friends or some family members still bothers me now and again but it is what it is.
*Sam: I handled it fairly well even though I felt some anxiety. The thoughts of running away from the madness in that country have been a consolation.
*Bimbo: the first time I concluded that I’ll leave Nigeria was after #EndSars. I just wanted to get away from the whole drama. I always wanted to do my Master’s program abroad, though because I felt it was the only way to be a sane Nigerian to be honest.
My parents were scared at first because of the fees for my program ran into tens of millions but they were overjoyed when I got a scholarship to fund my tuition and that made me feel great as well. I was honestly bothered about being away from them and it got more intense in the last days before I left. I got so emotional at the airport. I’ve always lived with them so I guess it's understandable for me to feel that way. Relocating turned out to be the best decision I made for myself.
Countless times, conversations have come up about a friend/family member keeping their plans to relocate to a different country secret. As much as I am am advocate of making the best out of the relationships that matter to you, I am also advocating that you give people the space to breathe.
Except you are close friends with them, don’t be angry or pissed off because you were not informed before a friend left. If you discovered from other friends or family members, accept it, pray or wish them well, and try not to feel entitled to all the details of their lives.
Just as I’ve shared in this piece, people deal with diverse emotions when relocating to a different place so allow them space to breathe and settle in without having to deal with a distant friend’s tantrums or a family members attitude.
*Names have been changed.
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