My Son Wore a Dress for Picture Day, and It Reaffirmed My Faith in Humanity
I’m grateful to know that my kid’s teachers are willing to go the extra mile to make their students feel comfortable and confident.
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As parents, we devote ourselves to protecting our kids. We stock the cabinets with food and clothes and medicine; we carry band-aids and books and water bottles; we do our best to shield them from danger.
But what about the things we cannot protect them from? Or, maybe, should not?
For me, this moment came when my 5-year-old son asked to wear a dress to his school picture day. He saw his 8-year-old sister try on her dress, and was so mesmerized by the sight of her twirling around the living room, that he asked for the same dress in his size. I was excited and proud of his choice. I strive to raise open-minded kids and to help them understand that we live in a world that is ever-changing, full of differing family structures and gender orientations.
That being said, when I ordered him the matching dress, I worried.
I live in Brooklyn in a fairly progressive bubble. But what about everyone else? It’s one thing for my son to don a frilly frock and wear it to a close friend’s birthday party on the weekend, or take a flannel nightgown to pajama day at his peace-loving preschool, but they wear uniforms at his new elementary school. We’re talking about 300 kindergarten through fifth-graders. A school full of strangers.
So, yeah, I worried.
I debated bringing it up with my son. Gently warning him that people might be mean, and that some people in our society are still narrow-minded. But that seemed like an unnecessary bubble-bursting effort.
Instead, I emailed his new kindergarten teachers. I was nervous, not knowing what their personal philosophies might be. What if they ignored my email, or worse, shut me down? Not that I was searching for praise. This was more of a heads-up to alert them of my son’s decision, and to express my hope that they might be accepting of it while also keeping an eye on the other kids; possibly intervening if any bullying or negative comments did occur.
