43 THOUGHT THAT CROSSED MY MIND WHILE READING THE BBC TOP 10 21st CENTURY’S GREATEST FILMS (because who cares about the rest, they’re losers)

1- Oh, I love cinema.

2- Why do I watch so many TV series when I should be watching films?

3- I’m going to start downloading all the films on the list RIGHT NOW.

4- Wow! All the 10 best films of the 21st century have been made by a writer/director.

5- No woman filmmaker has made any of the 10 best films of the century.

6- No woman scriptwriter has written any of the 10 best films of the century (of course, all films are written by the directors, who are men).

7- 4 out of the 10 greatest films of the century have been made by non-western men.

8- I still don’t know what Mulholland Drive is about.

9- The Tree of Life is good then? Yes?

10- No black man has directed any of the 10 best films of the century.

11- I thought Steve McQueen was supposed to be one of the best discoveries of cinema as of late.

12- Actually, the 6 western writer/directors on the list are all white.

13- No black woman has made any of the 10 best films of the century. Obviously, as they are black and they are women.

14- Of the films written/directed by white western men, the stories are about:

• An immigrant psychopath killing Americans
• The emotional and spiritual problems of a man. And dinos
• An estranged couple attempting to forget each other
• A boy growing up in real time
• An oilman’s unstoppable ambition
• Who the f*** knows what Mulholland Drive is about?

15- David Lynch is smart to leave it open.

16- Of the films written and directed by non-western men, the stories are about:

• A woman trying to divorce her husband
• The conflicts and crisis of each and every member of a family
• A young girl fighting monsters in a world where humans have turned into beasts
• A married man and a married woman fantasising to love each other

17- For all I know Mulholland Drive could be about black women’s rights.

18- I love David Lynch.

19- David Lynch has been in my life since I can remember.

20- I want to feel life like Lula does in Wild at Heart.

21- The BBC informs us that of the 177 critics, 55 are women and 122 are men. Women are not as good film critics as men then, either?

22- The BBC informs us that of the 177 critics who participated, 109 are from anglo-saxon countries.

23- What’s the deal with the BBC?

24- I wonder if I have it in my genes to be a good scriptwriter. You know, being a woman and that.

25- Black women scriptwriters have it worse than me.

26- No wonder so many men have invited me to collaborate on their films just because of my “female perspective”, as women don’t direct nor write the best films.

27- I think that the fact that they would invite me to collaborate for my “female perspective” is very demeaning to them as men, because they actually can write from a female perspective as it has been proven on this list.

28- Why hasn’t Michael Haneke made the top 10. Did people not see The White Ribbon?

29- Why hasn’t Lylia 4-ever made it anywhere?

30- For all we know Mulholland Drive could be about the making of WWII or about sexual slavery.

31- David Lynch is awesome.

32- I’m trying to come up with the name of a film directed by a woman that is better than those 10 on the list and I cannot come up with any.

33- I remember a lot of women in Film School. Where have all the women gone?

34- I wonder if they don’t make it in the industry because they can only give a female perspective.

35- I wonder if anglo-saxon men double the number of women and non-anglo-saxon people in the list of film critics chosen by the BBC because they have a neutral point of view, without being distracted by the female perspective or the experience of not being anglo-saxon.

36- What’s wrong with the film industry is also what’s wrong with the BBC’s choice of critics.

37- BBC uses diversity to give “color” to results, not to find a democratic result.

38- Men, mostly white and anglo-saxon are writing the narrative of our lives.

39- They call it fiction so that we take it less serious.

40- Still, love conquers all. I’ve learned that in movies.

41- Does anyone have David Lynch’s phone number?

42- Once I’ve watched the top 10 films, I probably won’t watch the rest, there are too many TV series to watch.

43- Btw, my intention to get David Lynch’s number has nothing to do with love (although I do think sex with him would be pretty great, with fire everywhere and that), but I want his phone number ’cause I need to tell him Dick Laurent is still alive.