43 THOUGHT THAT CROSSED MY MIND WHILE READING THE BBC TOP 10 21st CENTURY’S GREATEST FILMS (because who cares about the rest, they’re losers)
1- Oh, I love cinema.
2- Why do I watch so many TV series when I should be watching films?
3- I’m going to start downloading all the films on the list RIGHT NOW.
4- Wow! All the 10 best films of the 21st century have been made by a writer/director.
5- No woman filmmaker has made any of the 10 best films of the century.
6- No woman scriptwriter has written any of the 10 best films of the century (of course, all films are written by the directors, who are men).
7- 4 out of the 10 greatest films of the century have been made by non-western men.
8- I still don’t know what Mulholland Drive is about.
9- The Tree of Life is good then? Yes?
10- No black man has directed any of the 10 best films of the century.
11- I thought Steve McQueen was supposed to be one of the best discoveries of cinema as of late.
12- Actually, the 6 western writer/directors on the list are all white.
13- No black woman has made any of the 10 best films of the century. Obviously, as they are black and they are women.
14- Of the films written/directed by white western men, the stories are about:
- An immigrant psychopath killing Americans
- The emotional and spiritual problems of a man. And dinos
- An estranged couple attempting to forget each other
- A boy growing up in real time
- An oilman’s unstoppable ambition
- Who the f*** knows what Mulholland Drive is about?
15- David Lynch is smart to leave it open.
16- Of the films written and directed by non-western men, the stories are about:
- A woman trying to divorce her husband
- The conflicts and crisis of each and every member of a family
- A young girl fighting monsters in a world where humans have turned into beasts
- A married man and a married woman fantasising to love each other
17- For all I know Mulholland Drive could be about black women’s rights.
18- I love David Lynch.
19- David Lynch has been in my life since I can remember.
20- I want to feel life like Lula does in Wild at Heart.
21- The BBC informs us that of the 177 critics, 55 are women and 122 are men. Women are not as good film critics as men then, either?
22- The BBC informs us that of the 177 critics who participated, 109 are from anglo-saxon countries.
23- What’s the deal with the BBC?
24- I wonder if I have it in my genes to be a good scriptwriter. You know, being a woman and that.
25- Black women scriptwriters have it worse than me.
26- No wonder so many men have invited me to collaborate on their films just because of my “female perspective”, as women don’t direct nor write the best films.
27- I think that the fact that they would invite me to collaborate for my “female perspective” is very demeaning to them as men, because they actually can write from a female perspective as it has been proven on this list.
28- Why hasn’t Michael Haneke made the top 10. Did people not see The White Ribbon?
29- Why hasn’t Lylia 4-ever made it anywhere?
30- For all we know Mulholland Drive could be about the making of WWII or about sexual slavery.
31- David Lynch is awesome.
32- I’m trying to come up with the name of a film directed by a woman that is better than those 10 on the list and I cannot come up with any.
33- I remember a lot of women in Film School. Where have all the women gone?
34- I wonder if they don’t make it in the industry because they can only give a female perspective.
35- I wonder if anglo-saxon men double the number of women and non-anglo-saxon people in the list of film critics chosen by the BBC because they have a neutral point of view, without being distracted by the female perspective or the experience of not being anglo-saxon.
36- What’s wrong with the film industry is also what’s wrong with the BBC’s choice of critics.
37- BBC uses diversity to give “color” to results, not to find a democratic result.
38- Men, mostly white and anglo-saxon are writing the narrative of our lives.
39- They call it fiction so that we take it less serious.
40- Still, love conquers all. I’ve learned that in movies.
41- Does anyone have David Lynch’s phone number?
42- Once I’ve watched the top 10 films, I probably won’t watch the rest, there are too many TV series to watch.
43- Btw, my intention to get David Lynch’s number has nothing to do with love (although I do think sex with him would be pretty great, with fire everywhere and that), but I want his phone number ’cause I need to tell him Dick Laurent is still alive.