8 Prestige Films to Look Forward to After We Endure the Next Four to Eight Years
The Oscar nominations were announced this week and the internet is abuzz with predictions for who this year’s big winners will be. While everyone else is doing that, let’s look forward to the films the Academy might be recognizing after we endure the next four to eight years.
Tammy’s Choice — A working mother in the rustbelt must make the difficult choice of having access to health insurance for her asthmatic son or holding on to her irrational hatred of Obamacare.
Great Wall 2 — Matt Damon single handedly and heroically saves migrant workers from cruel border patrol officers along the new wall. This film is financed by a Mexican production company.
Dakota Access — The story of the surviving pipeline engineers present for the Dakota Access incident in the fall of 2018, and how South Dakota is the world’s largest oil slick now.
The March — A dramatic depiction of the events leading up to the day of the historic Women’s March in which almost 5 million people of all genders across the globe stood in defiance of the new President. Please god let there be women of color in this.
Finding Nemo: Guantanamo — An animated CG feature based on true events in which we as a society again are taught that waterboarding is ineffective and inhumane.
All the Presidents Memes — A taut political thriller about the only team of investigative journalists who can monetize the news. This is the story of how an intrepid team at Buzzfeed uncovers the email leaks leading to Trump being put to trial for treason.
Fast and the Furiosa — The twentieth film in the venerable franchise. An elderly Vin Diesel helps a caravan of women escape Trump Tower across a post-apocalyptic America. This film is basically one long chase sequence.
The National Parks — The most expensive film ever produced; this is the first non-narrative CGI documentary in which the full artistry and computing power of Industrial Light and Magic is used to recreate the National Parks system which no longer exist.
