An Extra Life: Boxer Briefs
Character: Passed Out Partier
Call Time: 6:30am
Wrap Time: 10:30am
Coffees Drank: 2
P.A. Score: 3 out of 5
I received a casting notice from an acting website that said, “are you comfortable on camera in your underwear?” I wasn’t sure, I’d never been on camera in my underwear before, but I said, “hell, why not?” I spend the majority of my days in just my underwear, most of the time standing in front of open windows. If I’m already showing off this bod for free, I might as well do it for a very small amount of money. I’m not bashful. I responded to the casting notice and started looking for a pair of boxer briefs in my dresser drawer that didn’t look like a warn basketball net.
The whole operation felt kind of sketchy from the beginning. When I was walking towards the location listed in the email I couldn’t find any signs on the street to help locate the holding area, nor were there any equipment trucks parked along the street. Luckily I had the address and Google maps on my phone so I had some inkling of where to go. When I arrived I was very surprised to find out that the holding location was not in a church basement or recreational center as usual but, instead, it was in someone’s condo in Brooklyn Heights. The place had an uncomfortably intimate feel to it. It felt weird not knowing a lot about what we were filming, knowing that I’d be in my underwear and then finding out that holding was in some rando’s condo. Part of me thought I was going to be forced to make some kind of fuck video. Thankfully that wasn’t the case.
I walked into holding, which was easily the nicest place I’ve been inside of since I moved to New York. It gave me the feeling that no matter how successful I become, I’d never live in a place like that. I mean hell, I didn’t see a single roach all day. Very fancy. It was confusing being in a stranger’s home because I wasn’t sure where in the house I was allowed to go. I didn’t want the crew to think I was stealing stuff, so I just sat at the kitchen table and slowly ate a stale bagel until they were ready for us on set. There were six background actors on set, including myself. Everyone knew we were going to be in our underwear and there was a slight awkward tension in the air. Except for one girl who was all about it, she was very intent on getting naked. She had a fun little exchange with a P.A.
“Do I need to get naked yet?”
“Ugh, no, we’ve got some time before we need to be on set.”
“Ok. Do you just want me to walk over there naked or…”
“No, you can leave your clothes on until you get on set and when we’re ready to start filming you can strip down to your underwear. No one needs to get naked.”
“Alright but, if you need someone to get naked, let me know.”
There are always a lot of “characters” on any TV or movie set, especially when it comes to background actors. This day was no different, there was naked girl and then a fella who was not only a model but also a trapeze artist. Shortly after I arrived he started giving a clinic on how to be an Instagram star.
“If you’re new to Insta, make sure you post 4 or 5 photos before you start friend-ing people. That way they know you’re serious. Also, you should use AT LEAST 15–20 hashtags for every photo you post. That’s how people discover you.”
In my head I was like, “this shit’s so fucking dumb, I hate social media!” Of course, as soon as I got home I setup an Instagram for my self and I always make sure to use AT LEAST 15 hash tags. Just an FYI, I’m nowhere near famous.
Everything was very scatterbrained. The P.A. was sent the wrong list of background actors for that day, so we never actually checked in while we were there. They just assumed we were the right people for that day but, in all honesty, we could’ve just been 6 random people with a dream, who saw an open door and a camera to get in front of. They didn’t make us fill out any paperwork either; the whole thing was off the books. Kind of sketchy seeming, right? The hair and makeup woman called in sick and all the ladies on set had to do their own makeup. We were told to try and look “as hung over as possible.” Which wasn’t hard, I consider myself a bit of a method actor when it comes to playing someone who’s hungover. Everybody tussled their hair a bit and that was pretty much the extent of our hair and makeup.
Apparently the scene we were filming was the final scene they needed to shoot for the show. I came to find out that they had already filmed the scene once, but one of the main characters quit half way through filming and they had to hire a new lead actor and re-film all of the scenes. After being on that set for one day, I kind of understood why someone might want to distance themselves from the project.
They took us over to the set, which was just the next-door neighbor’s condo, also a very nice place. The scene was supposed to be the morning after a big party where we all got trashed and took our clothes off (also a role I’m familiar with). First thing I saw when I walked in was one of the camera guys rolling a huge joint on the kitchen table. So I chuckled and asked him if that was for the scene. He simply replied, “nope,” and kept on rolling. Sketchy seeming, right?
The crew got all the lighting situated the way they liked it, we got ready to start filming and we all stripped down to our underwear. I was the ONLY person who didn’t have an immaculate body. Everyone looked like they spent hours a day at the gym and lived on a diet of strictly protein. I tried not to look around too much because I didn’t want the other actors to think I was a weirdo. I was already the pudgy guy. I didn’t want to be the creepy, pudgy guy. I just want to say that I’m fine with my body, I like it. It’s just, next to all those incredibly fit people I had no choice but to be the pudgy guy. Not everyone on set was quite as comfortable with my body as I was, I got body shamed a little bit by one of the other actors. Which, I don’t care, because I’m not a shallow asshole, there’s more to me than just a hot bod.
There were two couches in the room. There was a guy on each couch and a girl on each couch. I think the idea behind that was to make it look like maybe they had hooked up during the party the night before. The third girl was laying on the floor across from me and I was sitting on the floor propped up against the side of the couch. It was a really unflattering position for me, it really brought out all of the creases that my body has to offer. Before we started filming, the girl laying on the floor across from me propped her head up, looked at the 4 other people and said, “We’ve got a couple on that couch and another couple on that couch.” Then she nodded towards me without looking at me and as though she was pretend upset and said, “guess I’m stuck with that guy!” They all had a good laugh at my expense.
I was a little embarrassed but, I knew that it’d be a funny story to tell people. Kind of like the time I ate too many pot brownies and passed out at a Cubs game. But that’s a story for another time. We got settled in our positions while the crew added some stuff to the scenery. There were a lot of beer cans on the ground, Chinese food containers tossed around the room, pizza boxes on the floor and one teeny, tiny bag of marijuana placed next to my foot. Which I think they may have borrowed from that cameraman I came across in the kitchen. They also gave me one of those beer-dispensing helmets to wear. It was bright red and said, “life of the party” on the front of it. Now, not only was I the chubby guy, I was also the comic relief in this scene.
They did like 20 different takes of the scene that we were filming, which felt like overkill, considering all it was, was just a steady-cam shot moving throughout the room. I had to sit on the floor in my underwear for like 2 hours. I was sore the next day because of it, but more so because I’m getting old and it’s gross.
We finished filming around 10:30am. I put my clothes back on as quickly as possible and went back to holding. They paid us $60 in cash and we all went our separate ways. Some of those actors became friends that day, but me, well, hopefully I’ll never have to see any of them ever again.
