Death at the cinema

This one time, I was working on the concession stand at the cinema selling snacks and shit. And this bloke comes up to my till and says, “Popcorn please.”

“Salted or sweet?” Says I.
“Salted,” he says.
“Small, medium, large or extra large?”
“Small please.”
“Butter?”
“Yes please.”

I get his popcorn and put it down in front of him.

“And a drink too please, “ he says.
“Coke, Diet Coke, Fanta, Sprite or Lilt?” I says.
“Sprite please.”
“Small, medium, large or extra large?”
“Bloody hell,” he says, “I only wanted some snacks, I didn’t expect some sort of Spanish inquisition!”
“HAHAAAAAAAAAAA!” Says I. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
“You what?” Says your man.
“I said, Nooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!” I put on my best Cardinal Biggles voice for this.
“Sorry mate?”
“The Spanish inquisition.”
“What?”
“Monty Python?”
“No.”
“You’ve never heard of the Spanish Inquisition sketch?”
“I’ve never heard of Monty…who did you say?”

So I walked away and left him…lying there.

Like what you read? Give Mr Uku a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.