For the Princess
Growing up, film was my escape. Front and center of my obsession was the Star Wars Saga. At the age of five, my brother introduced me to a galaxy far, far away with A New Hope. I still remember being curled up in his bed watching Luke, Leia, and Han fight the evil Empire. I was so drawn in that nothing else mattered. After my mother died when I was six, I found myself occupying my time with film so I wouldn’t have to deal with the loss at such a young age. Before bed every night, I would put in one of the Star Wars films and fall asleep knowing Luke, Leia, and Han would protect me. Throughout my life, Star Wars has always been a constant in an ever-changing world.
Yesterday, I woke up excited to take my brother to see Rogue One for the first time. I was lucky enough to have seen it the Thursday night before it officially opened while he had to do family things. I got dressed, waiting for him and my niece to arrive; then we set off to experience the Star Wars universe again. This time would be the first Star Wars film my niece would see in theaters. As the movie progressed, I found myself remembering my first Star Wars experience. As the X-Wings flew across the sky, I felt overwhelming joy. As Darth Vader slaughtered the Rebel soldiers, I felt a mix of fear and excitement. As Princess Leia received the Death Star plans, I truly believed her when she told us we had hope. It was like experiencing it all for the first time. The magic of filmmaking and the mystery of the Star Wars universe made it feel as if time had stopped and nothing bad could ever happen again.
As the credits rolled and we shuffled back to our vehicle, we talked about our likes and dislikes of the film. I turned on my phone and checked Facebook to pass the time during the ride back home. That’s when I saw it: “Carrie Fisher dead at age 60.” My heart sank and time seemed to stop again but for a different reason. In that moment, I was overcome with sadness and grief. I couldn’t believe that Princess Leia was dead shortly after telling me there was hope. How could she possibly be gone… Once we arrived home, I went to my room, crawled in bed, and stared at the ceiling. The magic was gone.For those of you who are unaware, watching A New Hope all those years ago ignited a fire. I fell deeply, madly in love with cinema. To me, there is nothing more magical than film. It can transport you to the farthest stretches of the universe, make you feel emotions you didn’t know existed, and inspire you to reach new heights. Seeing Luke and Leia swing across the gap filled that 5 year-old with a dream to reach people through film. Carrie Fisher played a vital role in my life. Without the Princess, I wouldn’t be an aspiring filmmaker. Without the Princess, I would still be working a factory job 7 days a week wishing I could find something better. I owe a great deal to Carrie Fisher, and there’s no way I could ever repay her. When she passed, 22 year old me mourned the loss of a great actress; 5 year old me mourned the Princess, and the real me mourned the loss of a friend I never had the chance to meet.
Thank you, Carrie Fisher, for inspiring me to reach for the stars and never give up. I wouldn’t be the same without you. Sleep well, Princess. You fought the good fight and inspired countless people along the way. Now, you are one with the Force. We all love you and will miss you greatly.
