Sexism bla bla bla

Why can’t ladies just be happy with hair (assistant)?

Every time you turn around these days there’s another woman banging on about equality. Unconscious bias, sexism, discrimination, bla bla bla. Maybe if they took their tops off when they’re talking about it it might be more interesting — but, actually, looking at the age of most of the women complaining I take that back. Maybe they could put on burkas and we could avoid another disgusting Susan Sarandon episode. What’s she doing even having breasts at her age, anyway?

Let’s cut to the chase — female directors are like hen’s teeth. About 7% of all directors in the USA are women. So wouldn’t you think if they’re so smart they could take the hint? You’re not needed, girls. There’s plenty for you to do in the movie business, especially if you’re blonde and under thirty, why can’t you just be content with that? Didn’t we give you the vote already? And equal pay? Ok, well, never mind that. There are lots of really smart and creative guys already doing a fine job directing and writing and starring in the big movies and TV shows — we don’t really need you girls trying to weasel in on the action with your hormones and your tears and your hysterics. There’s plenty of other things for you to do — catering and costumes and assisting the important men. Hell, we even give you producer credits — lots of them — cause to be honest dealing with all that paperwork is a real headache and we’d rather be out shooting or locking deals or banging babes — oops sorry but you know how it is!

So girls, there’s a whole world of continuity out there for you to explore. You can do makeup as long as there are no prosthetics involved, and you can be personal assistant to really big stars. You see? Things aren’t that bad. And anyway, you wouldn’t have time for the movie business what with raising kids and cooking meals and ironing and stuff. So let’s have an end to all this complaining, how ‘bout - you’re a little distracting from the pure propaganda I mean entertainment value of the industry and you know it’s not going to change anything. I mean, there are less women directing now than 20 years ago, so let that tell you something. You’re smart ladies — so why not make me a good cup of coffee and we’ll forget all about it? Two sugars, sugar. :)