Telephotos Compress Everything
When it comes to posting here, I feel like I’m always the most lucid after a long, grueling shoot. There’s a million things floating around in my head. I have tons of questions during every shoot and I disturb everybody I can with them, but nobody really has the time, and so I’m left to ponder on my own.
Anyway.
I’ve been debating with myself about whether I need to own my own camera for a long time. The biggest disadvantage is of course, cost, because I know that I’m not going to be recouping that money shooting wedding videos or anything of that sort. It’s also rooted in my fear of lack of technical proficiency- I’ve always more of a words than numbers, and scary terms like f-stop, ISO, framerate always turn me off. I’ve always figured I can rent a camera and crew whenever I have a script ready that can handle all of that for me. How naive.
I have recently to come to accept some painfully obvious truths:
- Directing is a skill that, just like every other, is learned through practice. My ego would have me believe that I have mastered my craft simply because I watched Paul Thomas Anderson’s filmography in its entirety. I tried a simple 10 second movie exercise which showed me that in reality, I have only gotten more complacent. How did I expect to get any better without practice?
Facepalm.
- My fear of failure is holding me back. I spent three months planning my first short film, wanting it to be perfect. In the end it turned out average, and kind of crappy. Because no matter much I planned shot angles and blocking, there were still many things I would never figure until I was on set, in the thick of things. Part of my fear comes from holding filmmaking in high esteem, as asacred process, fit for only those who are worthy (Which is ironic in a era where viral videos are shot on camera phones). So I spend more time obsessing over the idea of directing than actually *directing* anything. Rather than planning in the hopes of never fail, I should aspire to fail a million times to get something right.
- If you want something right, do it yourself. There’s nothing more frustrating or dangerous than working with somebody who is skilled, but cannot communicate/does not listen to anything you say. I’ve realized that for the kind of films I want to make, there’s really no substitute for going out there and trying things on my own. That’s all part of developing a style. You figure out your lighting setup and your blocking and camera movements by doing them over and over again.
If all of this stuff seems like it should be common sense, it only goes to show that I have had the wrong idea about filmmaking for a long while. I came into the advertising industry because I realized that the commercials in Ghana have the highest production value. But I quickly became jaded realizing that it is a completely different process from narrative film. But the solution isn’t to wallow in my self-righteous sulking. It’s to go out and make what I want to make what I want to see.
I still think a camera is too expensive right now. But I can definitely see the benefits of shouldering that cost.
Originally published at journeyofthehyena.tumblr.com.
