Why I hate Bridget Jones…
Last week was a pretty shitty week for me both literally and figuratively speaking. Tummy bugs, panic attacks and pills that effed me up for days…my life was not fun.
I hardly did any work and while I was taking it all to Jesus for guidance and help , as I always do, I was basically living in a drug induced haze for most of the week.
So when I had enough capacity to finally do some work over the weekend, I scripted the shit out of my assigned shows (I work as a scriptwriter for a live tv youth program). It was draining and I was spent.
So what do you do when you want to relax? You switch on the tv and as fate would have it- Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason just started. Now for those of you who haven’t seen it, it’s the sequel.
Anyway, I was already sick and tired and watching this movie just made me wanna vomit. And here’s why:
1. Bridget was working as an on air tv reporter…how the hell she got that job no one knows. She is incompetent at it and in real life this shit wouldn’t fly. I’ve always wanted that kinda job. But instead she got it!
2. Bridget is dating a lawyer and not just any lawyer- a successful human rights lawyer. How the eff did she get that right? Again, my irritation levels are beginning to run high now. She’s a ditz… but maybe that’s what guys like Mark Darcy are attracted to.
3. She’s an awks chubster in every way! Now I’m not fat shaming here — but please hear me. She’s not skinny or athletically fit or curvy or thick. She’s just in that in-between awkward phase. The one that could potentially go either way but isn’t committed to one side yet. PLUS, her fashion sense is just wrong (to me at least) & she wears granny panties for Pete’s sake! But yet again…she has Darcy. Go figure.
4. Bridget gets to travel with her hot ex Daniel Cleaver, to an exotic destination for work — and takes her friend along. Who does that? But wait there’s more. She then lands up in jail? What a moron. But then as is her #blessed life, she gets saved by Darcy.
Basically this chick had two guys after her…I don’t understand.
5. She makes a complete fool of herself multiple times and still manages to get engaged to her one true love- Darcy.
She then wraps up the movie by saying she is 33 and engaged and happy…bla bla bla bla bla bla bla.
I ended up switching the tv off after this ridiculous movie thinking, I wasted 2 hours of my life on this shit.
And that I HATE Bridget Jones.
The girl— fictional as she may be — is a happy slightly overweight 33 year old woman with granny panties, an awesome guy, great job and an engagement ring on her finger!
She’s making it seem possible for the rest of us- over 30s- to believe that even if we let ourselves go…even if we are inept at what we do….even if we have no fashion sense…even if we have no real direction in life…we will somehow get to marry an amazing guy and travel the world cause our bosses are idiots and think we’re capable of doing the job….while in reality we suck at it.
These are all lies…but for a brief moment I was sucked in — shame on me!
Just when I started losing all hope of a love life and meeting ‘ The One’, this b#!$@ reignites that very desire in me.
If she was standing in front of me right now I’d beat the shit out of her.
Thanks for nothing Bridget… *cue All by Myself by Celine Dion*
