Why Fellowship is Lacking in the Church
or how leaders can cultivate biblical fellowship in Christ
Disclaimer: this post is directly addressing my local church, so please bear with any over-generalizations or assumptions I project
It’s a familiar story from church to church (at least within my Korean-American Southern California context).
“I feel like I have no community here.”
“No one really reaches out or knows me.”
“People look up to me, so I can’t really tell them my struggles.”
My fellow brothers and sisters clutch on to a deep desire to belong to a faithful family of followers of Jesus Christ. When believers show up to church on Sundays, most conversations surf the surfaces of souls and many quiver at the thought of allowing another to scuba-dive deep with lights into the dark depths of their lives and history, especially those with dark pasts.
Week after week, conversations feel like another loop around a familiar mountain. Person after person, repeating the same summary storyline of our current life stage. Soon enough, we look back and realize we’ve logged hundreds of miles only to find ourselves in the same spot.
And then we conclude… I don’t feel like I’m growing here.
The Root Issue: The Perfect-Leader Cycle
Sit for a moment and think of all your previous small group leaders, staff, pastors, and teachers you have had. Now, list all their faults and sins that they have shared with you. Most of you will end up with a list like this:
- school problems with exams and classes
- career difficulties
- being mean to others (road rage, cussing, insulting, etc.)
- light-hearted family issues
- an abstract version of “pride”
- minor physical illnesses (coughs, soreness, etc.)
And because we only know how to cook what we have tasted, we serve up a bland plate of safe surface-level issues to those who come after us. We perpetuate the cycle of surfing the surface.
As we cultivate the garden of our fellowship with one another, we must identify and remove the weeds and their roots. If the Spirit is our water and the Bible is our sun, both nourishing the garden of our fellowship…
what is our weed?
Our weed is the cycle of surfing the surface of deep waters,
which only perpetuates through the generations.
We must pull out this weed.
Walking in His Light Together
John the Disciple’s Insight into Authentic Christian Fellowship
This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, the God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. — 1 John 1:5-10 (ESV, emphasis mine)
Where is the leader who is willing to walk into God’s light to allow his darkness to be seen?
Where is the leader who can confess and share about the journey of discovering God and His grace, love, and forgiveness in the midst of the revealing darkness?
When such leaders emerge, only then will the congregation find the courage to fellowship with such leaders together in God’s light. Only then will true fellowships be forged to fight the battles against the darkness. Fighting to dare each other to believe that the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all revealed sins.
So what can leaders do?
The fight for our fellowship with God and with others can only happen in God’s light. We cannot join with others when we are blind in the darkness. Only when we see can we hold hands and face the once-hidden darkness.
As legitimate as the aforementioned “dark areas” may be, those are surface level issues. Which of us “leaders” are out there shining God’s light into their deep abyss? Which of us will walk into God’s light and reveal our:
- frequent sexual activities and temptations with a significant other
- anorexia and other eating disorders to deal with our self-image
- deep depression and suicidal thoughts
- reoccurring doubts of fundamental Christian beliefs
- addiction to video gaming and/or multimedia
- broken families and violence within them
- fears and insecurities of knowing nothing about a faith we grew up in
Once His light hits the darkness, we experience His faithfulness and justness to forgive and to cleanse. Here, we experience His love.
It takes courage to be imperfect. And even more courage to be seen as imperfect. But the gospel is not about your perfection journey.
The gospel is about God’s patient and persistent pursuit to be with His people and to transform them into a community of images of Him for the world to see how majestic and loving He is.
And this gospel will continue to unfold when leaders (1) take courage and walk in His light vulnerably and (2) invite others to walk in it together.
It is in this light, we can taste and see His love.
It is in this light, we can experience His fellowship.
It is in this light, we begin to learn to love one another in true fellowship.
