Do not call me Exotic!
My Body Is Not Your Source of Culture And Thinking So Is Harming the Both of Us.
Recently I had a conversation with my mom and cousin about being labeled “exotic”. I do not think it is a compliment in the slightest bit. Exotic literally means originating in or characteristics of a distant foreign country. So when someone uses the word exotic in an attempt of flattery what they are actually saying is “You are foreign because you do not look like me or the traditional standard of beauty. You are now being dehumanized and objectified based of off your race/heritage. Congratulations! I am now fetishizing the object you are without any regard for the way this makes you feel, the violence you may face for it, and for the oppression that comes with it”.
Exotic is not a compliment!
For instance, I am black and Mexican and that has come with several instances of backhanded compliments. All throughout my short life time, I would hear “you’re pretty for a black girl” and when others discovered my Mexican heritage I would be told things like “Oh, that’s why you're pretty!” and the even more disturbing “me likey”. Comments like the ones listed above are perpetuating racist ideas in relation to beauty in a way similar to “exotic”. The backhanded compliments, like those listed above, place usually women of color, in a position outside the beauty norm. It puts us in-between the borders of social acceptance and social othering only being allowed to pass through either border when the “right” person gives us entry. In my own mind, “exotic” is a reminder that I,along side many other women, can never just be beautiful our race/heritage will always be a factor. Racism takes many forms, even “compliments”.
“your lovin of my beauty ain’t more than
funky fornication plain pink perversion
in fact nasty necrophilia
cause my beauty is dead to you
I am dead to you”-Suheir Hammad’s “Not Your Erotic,Not Your Exotic”
You’re pretty for a black girl!
Me likely!
#NOTYOURSPICE
Stop reducing us to sexual objects
Unfortunately, an aspect of this issue is the idea that having sexual relations with one of the bodies, that has been placed in social acceptance limbo, would safely grant one access to the culture pertaining to that body. The use of “exotic” bodies is seen as a way to live on the wild side or as Bell Hooks would say, in “Eating the Other: Desire and Resistance”, adding spice to life. Bell Hooks connects the consumption of culture through the othered body as cannibalism. She explains the othered bodies are seen as a new frontier designed to be explored and being something to gain from. The use of the bodies in limbo is falsely perceived as a way to consume the culture of that body without leaving the safety of their own. It is falsely perceived as a way to “live dangerously” and “add spice to life” while not having to commit to the danger, spice, and sometimes the othered body.
“When race and ethnicity become commodified as resources of pleasure, the culture of specific groups, as well as bodies of individuals, can be seen as constituting an alternate playground where members of dominating races, genders, sexual practices affirm their power-over in intimate relations with the other.”- page 23
Ironically, this form of cannibalism also hurts the consumer. The consumer themselves become consumed by the power of potestas and by consequence can not find their potentia. Gayatri Spivak defines potestas and potentia as power relations. Potestas is the power relationship one has to another body it is ugly, potent, and malicious. Potentia(think potential) is the power relationship one has with oneself; it is good, pure and kind. Potentia(power over self)and Potestas(power over other)can not co-exist in the body simultaneously. The consumer falsely views the cannibalism as a form of obtaining power, but the consumed is,hopefully, willingly participating in the sexual practices and they hold the culture. The consumer does not actually obtain any culture or potentia from the consumption. Sleeping with someone from a Latin culture will not give you the skills needed to be a professional salsa dancer. Sleeping with someone from an Indian culture will not make your life more like a Bollywood movie. Simply put the consumer is stunting their own growth in addition to not obtaining a single ounce of culture.
Find your own potentia!
All in all, no one gains anything from this cannibalism. The myth of obtaining culture through a human body couldn’t be farther from the truth.The “exotic” and the consumed are reduced from person to object of sexual and cultural gratification. The consumer can not actually obtain any culture from the othered body. The consumer can not reach their full potential while exhibiting the cannibalistic potestas. Other forms of cannibalism are not accepted and culture consumption should join them.
