Domestic Violence: A Social Norm or an Outlaw?
Domestic Violence, an act of abuse or discipline. An act of love or control.
In her article, Public Imprisonment and Private Violence, Angela Davis correlates domestic violence with prison imprisonment. Domestic abuse has been present and active into our society for such a long period of time that distinguishing and labeling it as domestic violence has been blurred. It not only includes physical abuse, but mental and emotional abuse, as well. Domestic violence is quite common amongst those in a relationship, but can also occur between parents and children. This form of violence is used to inflict power and persuasion amongst another person. Due to its integration amongst two people in a relationship, the definition of domestic abuse is blurred and victims of abuse tend to not realize that they’re in the said situation; therefore, they begin to normalize the acts of violence in the relationship and continuing to remain in the affair. According to Jewkes, leading causes of abuse in an intimate partner relationship varies from financial status, gender dynamics, alcohol to disagreements.
Financial Rank and Gender Roles
The male stereotype of being the “man of the house” and the family breadwinner plays a key factor in why domestic abuse is present in our society. The power instilled into men due to these gender dynamics has lead to these greater expectations from men to be successful and provide for the family financially. With great expectations also comes the probability of failure. Men who are unable to provide for their significant other and family feel unworthy and are stripped from their power as the man of the house because he is unable to succeed in providing for his family. Due to his incapability of thriving as the breadwinner of the family, he is threatened if the wife makes him feel inferior to her or is more successful; thus, causing his need to show his power through violence. Bonnie E. Carlson states in her article, Causes and Maintenance of Domestic Violence: An Ecological Analysis, how regulating gender roles in a relationship shape the attitudes and behaviors of the man and woman. The idea that women are subordinate to men and the men have the “power” in the relationship causes the action of the man “disciplining” his wife into proper manners, actions and to what he wants in a parter. By subjecting his partner to violence, he persuades her into believing that what he is doing to her is okay and is to better her; therefore, does not consider it as domestic abuse. The man is mentally brainwashing her into believing that what he is doing is bettering her, but in reality, he is making her less humane because he is trying to have control over her and removing her ability to think/act on her own. When women start depending on the man for not only financial stability, but also for guidance in decision making, she cannot feel like she can survive life without him even with the abuse. Sexism plays a key role in how domestic abuse is provoked, but it is not the only cause.
Men living in poverty were unable to live up to their ideas of “successful” manhood and that, in the resulting climate of stress, they would hit women. -Rachel Jewkes, Intimate partner violence: causes and prevention (Pg. 1424)
Alcohol Consumption and Conflict
When either or both partners consumed alcohol, it causes impairment in judgement, diminishes their ability to construe their surroundings and can ensue violence. When a person is intoxicated, he or she can believe that his or her actions are validated by their alcohol consumption; therefore, will act upon their drunken rage. Vice versa, the victim of violent abuse blames the alcohol for their offender’s actions; therefore, also does not define this as domestic abuse because they believe if the offender is sober, he or she would not be inflicting pain on the victim. Disputes among the intimate partners can also initiate domestic violence if one is angered enough. For example, in the famous case of Chris Brown and Rihanna, a dispute about a text message between Rihanna and her previous partner ensued the quarrel. His act of jealousy and argument led him to assault Rihanna. Due to these arguments, victims of abuse claim that it was their fault for causing the argument; therefore, it is their fault as to why their partner inflicted violence upon them. If they never argued back with their partner, then maybe they would have never been maltreated. But, why is the victim taking blame for the actions of his or her significant other? A person should never subject herself to abuse despite what caused the act because it is never acceptable for another person, especially a man, to hit another, especially a woman.
Relationship of Love or Convenience
Victims of domestic abuse do not have the strength to leave their significant other despite the injuries and harm inflicted upon them and possibly their children. For some women, leaving is not as easy as it is said and advised. Many women are heavily dependent on their significant other for financial support; therefore, they fear not being able to survive on their own. Not only are they quite reliant on the man of the house, but if they have children, they would be uprooting their kids from their home and into a life of unknown because of their financial dependency on the man. Due to the mother wanting the best for their children, they would be willing to endure the maltreatment for the sake of their children having a father, place to live and food to eat. When a mother or a wife continues to stay in the abusive household, she is exemplifying to her kids that an abusive relationship is okay. Not only is violence exposed to their children, it demonstrates how it is acceptable for a man to hit a woman and for the women to be disciplined to conform to the ideologies of what the man wants. Exposure to the violence and how the man treats the women develops similar characteristics in the son and the vulnerability and submission of the women is influenced upon the daughter. Abusive relationships not only impact the two parties involved, but it also influences how their children are shaped in the future.
The commonality of domestic violence in the forms of mental, physical and emotional abuse led to the idea of it being a normal aspect in a relationship. Women who are victims to abuse are in denial that they are in an abusive relationship because they either blame themselves or does not believe it will ever happen again after the first time. When a man hits a women, most likely it is to instill the social norm of their power as the male figure and the subordination of the woman figure. Domestic violence has become normalized in society because of the gender stereotypes instilled in the community; therefore, it is not easily recognizable. Although domestic abuse can be identified as a social norm due to the disregarded actions towards it does not make it okay. It is a crime and should not be taken lighty. Domestic violence is a tool to exert power and control over another person for personal gain and harms the other person.