My white skin color has given me more privilege as a Mexican-American

As long as I can remember, I was always embarrassed of my white skin color because I did not look like my family members or like the students in my school. I grew up in a predominantly Mexican city and my family is Mexican as well. I was ashamed to be Mexican-American because my white skin color made me feel like I did not belong to my own culture. I was envious of my sister and her brown skin color. I did not feel comfortable in my own skin because of everyone’s reaction:

“You’re Mexican?!”

“Your last name is Garcia?!”

“Why are you so white?!”

“Do you even know Spanish?!”

But just recently after the Presidential election, I realized that my white skin color has given me more privilege than opposed to my family, my community, and my own culture. I was wanting a darker skin color to fit in when people of color were wanting my skin color to be given equal treatment and/or privilege.

Peggy McIntosh really opened my eyes to the privilege my skin color has given me in her piece, “White Privilege and Male Privilege.” McIntosh lists the privileges white people and males are given unknowingly. White people and males are blind to the advantages they have over people of color or in other words, McIntosh claims white people and males do not see their life as a privilege because they see their life as normal. Neither white people or white males experience the struggles, racism, and oppression that people of color go through on a daily basis or even know that any of those exist.

I began to wonder what privilege I have that my family or my Jamaican boyfriend do not have. But, I could not think of anything. McIntosh perfectly covers this issue stating that white people do not realize their “normal” everyday life is actually a privilege. McIntosh gives a list of some of the privileges white people or males are given and these are some that I realized I am able to relate to:

• I am not afraid to drive and get pulled over by police for no specific reason.
• I can walk at night without being questioned for suspicious behavior. (However, this is an advantage and disadvantage for me. An advantage is that my white skin color does not give a suspicious vibe but my gender puts me at danger. As a female, walking at night is more dangerous than a white male walking at night.)
• If I do not get a job or receive a promotion, I know it has nothing to do with my race but I can be very positive that I will receive either one because of my skin color.
• “I can choose blemish cover or bandages in “flesh” color and have them more or less match my skin.”

I always thought my Jamaican boyfriend was exaggerating on how paranoid he gets in public. Every time my boyfriend sees a police driving near us, he always lowers the volume on the radio, he sits up straight, and he has a calm neutral facial expression. Or every time we walk by a police officer, he always nods at the officers and asks how they are doing. I never notice when a police officer is around but my boyfriend almost senses police officers within a mile of us. I think the first time I felt his pain was when we went to Disneyland and he was patted down then had to go through two metal detectors. TWO! I walked by security first and with no hesitation, almost like security did not even see me, I entered the theme park. However, my boyfriend was first asked to take everything out of his pockets, he was then patted down, then had to walk through a metal detector, and finally lastly security finished checking him with a hand held metal detector. I am not sure if it was an appropriate or smart comment to make but I had said angrily to security, “of course you are going to extensively check the black guy.” I was furious my boyfriend had to go through all that at Disneyland with a huge crowd around us.

Although I did not realize my white privilege, I still definitely did not support Donald Trump and his political views. I am Mexican-American, I am a feminist, and I am a female. My white skin color does not reflect my political stance, I am fighting for equality for all people of color. Lena Dunham was someone I had looked up to because I felt like I was able to relate to her white skin color and her chubby body figure but I quickly realized she is not a true feminist. Dunham does participate in marches and voicing political beliefs but, in my opinion, Dunham is a white feminist that does not help people of color, people in poverty, and LGBTQ. For example, in her series Girls, the pilot episode shows her white privilege (although her financial income did get cut off, she has to look for a job, and her boy toy is sending her mixed signals) and lacks diversity (people of color).

Lena Dunham is not an ideal role model for feminists or young females. Dunham has tried so hard to entertain her audience that her comments/jokes are offensive. For example, her sexual imagery about Odell Beckham Jr. and her comment on wishing she had an abortion. Especially now with the recent cut on abortions. Peter Coffin expresses his anger and frustration against Dunham in “Enough of Lena Dunham’s “Marketplace Feminism.” He writes that Dunham is too busy marketing t-shirts and coffee mugs with “Feminism” written over it instead of actually fighting for equality. Lena Dunham needs to use her fame to help get messages across about the real issues with our 45th president and racism instead of trying to entertain her audience. As a female of white skin color, it would be very helpful to have a white female feminist to connect to but at least I have Gloria Anzaldua, a chicana feminist, to connect with.