Mindfulness Myths
Mindfulness is the new black. It’s in the headlines, on the cover of Time magazine, and all over the internet. You have probably read about how meditation and mindfulness can lower stress, improve happiness, and fight disease. I think it is great that the public is finally recognizing the benefits of conscious attention. It is something humans have practiced and benefited from for thousands of years. It’s definitely cool that science and popular opinion have brought a tried and true method for improving your well-being back into vouge. With all this new information and exposure, more people are looking into mindfulness. This is great, but it can be a little much in the begining.
If you are anything like me, your first attempts at mindfulness left you Discouraged with a capital D. It went something like this:
- Sit down
- Start counting breaths (in, out, 1…in, out, 2…)
- Get to around 3
- Have a bunch of thoughts unrelated to breathing
- Repeat for 5 more minutes until thoroughly frustrated
- Quit, get up, and try again in a few days
Not exactly the calming ritual I was promised! I was expecting that with a little work my thoughts would go away, I would achieve extreme bliss, and maybe even start levitating a little. Of course none of this happened. It took me a few years before I started to understand the subtleties of meditation and mindfulness. Here’s a list of a few things I wish I knew before I started my meditation practice:
- Not thinking is not the point
My biggest problem when I started meditating is that I thought the goal was to get rid of all my thoughts. In my mind, the perfect meditator had a pristine mind, free of all thoughts and feelings. This was a recipe for frustration. You cannot stop yourself thinking any more than you can stop your heart from beating. We have no control over how many thoughts we have, when we have them, or what they are. If you did, you would keep yourself from having sad thoughts, and you probably wouldn’t be reading this. Meditation helps you realize that thoughts cannot be stopped, which is the first step towards accepting thoughts as they come. - You can’t do it wrong
When I started my practice, I was far too hung up on technique. I would fret over whether my exhales were long enough, or if I should start over in my counting because I lost focus. Forget about all that. Find a way that you feel comfortable with and do that. If you want to change, then change. It doesn’t matter how, when, or where you meditate. You can meditate while walking, or while doing the dishes, or while sitting. The key is that you are going about your activity with focused attention. - Jump the gaps
Since I thought meditation was about stoping thoughts, I would get discouraged when new thoughts would come into my head. This is a natural part of meditation, because you cannot stop thoughts. Focusing on how many thoughts you have is going to make you feel like a failed monk. Instead, focus on the gap between thoughts. We all have these, but we often don’t notice. The gaps illustrate another important lesson of meditation: just like thoughts appear out of nothing, they also return to nothing. - There is plenty of time
I used to think I needed at least a free half-hour for my practice. This made it hard to make a regular schedule, and even harder to stick to. You don’t need time to meditate. One minute is plenty of time to count some breaths and take a moment to collect yourself. You can meditate while doing other tasks, just focus on what you are doing. Meditation is just being, so anywhere and anytime you are (which is all the time) you can meditate. - Just be
When it comes down to it, meditation and mindfulness is just being. You sit and allow the world to happen, here and now. What’s neat is that it is always here and always now. All you need to do is watch what is happening. That’s something we all do, even if we don’t know it. It is the foundation of our lives and actions. Meditation clears the way to participate in the constant becoming that is life.
You can’t help but be part of life. It is always here, and it is always now. Meditation helps us realize this simple fact of life by letting it play out in front of us as we watch. Meditation does not seek to control the flow of life, instead it teaches us that we can float with the current, enjoying things as they come and as they fade.
