Mental Health & The Startup Struggle
A founder’s personal thoughts.
If you Google ‘mental health startups’ or ‘mental health founders’ the vast majority of results are focused on mapping out both existing apps that focus on mental health, and the potential for further VC funding to flood into this space.
Very few actually focus on the mental health of those that work at, or crucially found, the startups themselves.
There are perhaps two popular conceptions attached to the startup scene; on the one hand, beanbags and Playstations, bright young things sat in an idyllic campus crafting the future — on the other hours of crazed coding, hellbent on a distant dream. In the former one can only imagine a kind of serenity, no doubt well-guided with meditation, and in the latter a state so far disconnected from reality, so far into or beyond the idea of burnout, as to perhaps not even allow time for anxiety, depression, creeping self-doubt or isolation. Just a singular focus.
Suddenly having the freedom to organise each day exactly as you want to seems a dream, but in reality, it means you’re never quite sure if what you’re doing is right — did you work enough today?
Stress and anxiety are the two most prevalent issues that I see founders face whilst they are in the throes of pushing their vision forward — depression, of course, being more likely if that dream fails to become a reality. Luckily, I have not yet experienced that latter path, and so will focus on the former two.
Ask a UK psychiatrist what proportion of people suffer from an anxiety disorder, and you’ll receive a number anywhere from 10–30%. Anxiety is often seen as a modern day phenomenon — neurosis caused by comparing oneself to too many others on social media, by not working hard and honestly, or by not being exposed to true stressors and therefore becoming too easily overcome by minor issues. There is, of course, an element of truth to this — there is a reason why CBT incorporates exposure therapy for conditions like social anxiety, and why those with anxiety exhibit avoidance behaviours. However, it’s far from a modern day issue, with any number of thinkers from Kierkegaard to Freud attempting to define, to discuss or to assess it.
I won’t use this as an excuse to talk about my own mental health — suffice to say I have had and perhaps again will have my own issues — but in the spirit of honesty and (I hope) utility, I will approach this in terms of my own experience. I feel the potential for mental health issues — namely, stress and anxiety — in the sphere comes from:
1) a kind of isolation in terms of team or community.
2) lack of structure and seniority.
3) the belief that something incredible is possible if you just work hard enough — against which is balanced fear of failure and then, in turn, no investment, no runway and the end of a dream.
4) An inability to label oneself, to fit into roles that society deems noteworthy — and thus perhaps a struggle for self-worth unless you realise your dream.
The first is easiest to pin down — working with one or two others only, where encounters and meetings outside that small team are often through necessity high pressure, or at the least tiring, can start to make your world seem smaller. It simply can be harder to find a sense of community. There’s no traditional office, no Christmas party where James from accounting gets too drunk again and everyone commiserates each other, hungover, the next day.
The lack of structure is self-explanatory. I speak as a young founder, fresh out of university. My degree at university was heavily structured, and of course school life before it the same.
There’s no handing the project back into your boss, apologising that it looks like this one doesn’t work and moving on to the next assignment. You’re out on your own.
Suddenly having the freedom to organise each day exactly as you want to seems a dream, but in reality, it means you’re never quite sure if what you’re doing is right — did you work enough today? Did you work too much? Should you have prioritised what you did? With no boss or direct senior, it’s hard to tell. It’s impossible to know if what you choose to do is correct, and frequently even if it’s efficient.
This leads on to the crux of the issue, the beating heart at the centre of the founder’s nightmare. With a vision, and a belief, and a bright young team working hard at finding the solution to a problem, surely if you just work hard enough it’s got to happen?
Therein lies the rabbit hole, where you as founders can begin to blame yourselves for any little thing, for investment not coming in, for users not growing like you thought they would. Fear starts to creep in, and you wonder if maybe you just worked that little bit more it might turn around. What if you worked longer and longer days? There’s no one limiting you, after all. No one telling you to go home. No one but you to blame if this thing that you’re so, so certain is going to work for some reason just doesn’t. If it doesn’t, then there’s no money, there’s no job. There’s no handing the project back into your boss, apologising that it looks like this one doesn’t work and moving on to the next assignment. You’re out on your own.
The fourth point I know has certainly been something that affected both me and one of my co-founders. If you take a degree that’s either vocational or closely linked with a high-paying job, then turn your back on that and pursue something entirely different, it can be hard to maintain your sense of self-worth or value vs peers that could be now, by society as a whole, be judged to be doing ‘better than you’ — unless (as always) you manage to realise your dream. Then, of course, it will all have been worth it.
As with anyone, no matter where they work, awareness and openness are crucial to safeguarding one’s own mental wellbeing. Talking to co-workers, friends or seeking the help of your family doctor or a therapist if stress becomes overwhelming is a positive step that should always be encouraged.
Tris.
