Why it’s SO important to open up about our mental health.
As I stand on stage in front of 250 young people after just talking about my struggle with severe mental health problems, I ask ‘Does anyone have any questions?’
No one puts their hand up. Not one. I do not feel disheartened or worried though because it’s inevitable that at least 10% of the room have questions for me, but they are at pains to ask them for fear of being the first to speak up.
After a couple of minutes, one person slowly puts their hand up and asks a question. This is usually asking me what the name ‘Maison de Choup’ means. I smile and answer it eagerly. After that person, I suddenly see a mass of hands fly up, each one of them wanting to be the first to ask the next question, and the next one, and the next one. Questions have suddenly arrived in abundance.
So, what exactly happened in the room after that one person asked me a question? Nothing changed environmentally, no one left or entered the room. What changed?
Confidence in people. Once that one person spoke up and asked me a question, people felt comfortable and had the confidence to do the same, following someone's lead.
This is an all too familiar story with public speaking engagements. However, knowing that there are questions people want to ask is comforting. It only takes one person to open the flood gates which lead to many.
It’s interesting though because we can apply the same logic to talking about our mental health, no one feels comfortable talking about what they are struggling with until one person has started that conversation.
In that room, I am that person, I have opened my soul to the people in the room and spilt the tea, telling them confidently that I suffer from severe anxiety and OCD, and that for 3 years I couldn’t leave my bedroom, and that I was washing my hands up to fifty times a day. It’s something that is quite unique.
After I have finished my speech and answered all the questions, I get a few people coming up to me, first they thank me for the speech I have just delivered, secondly they say “I am going through everything you just talked about, understanding I am not alone has made me feel a little bit better already”. Incredibly, this person then starts talking about and listing all the things they are currently experiencing, and we get into a fast-paced conversation of what it feels like to suffer. They are laughing and I am smiling, because unconsciously, this person has opened up about their mental health without even realising it. Remember, I am a complete stranger, I have never met this person before and yet they are telling me they suffer from a mental health problem.
It’s amazing. By standing in front of these 250 or so young people, I have created a mini-epidemic of opening up about mental health problems, in an incredibly positive way, blowing the stigma and taboo right out the window.
We are currently experiencing a mental health crisis. It is common knowledge that 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their life and people are suffering from a whole range of different problems, being told they need to seek help and then being put on a waiting list which can end up being a 40+ week wait for the support. It’s a complex issue.
To combat this, the first answer is of course, and always, funding. But it doesn’t just start there. If we apply the same logic from my speaking engagements of opening up, to the general population, getting more and more people talking about it, what would happen and how could we even begin to make this happen?
Well, if we revisit my original point, it starts with one person, one person putting their hand up and saying I suffer from a mental health problem. But it can go further than this, I recently posted a photo on LinkedIn talking about working part-time while running a startup business, it got more than 7,500 likes and seen by over half a million people! That’s a huge amount, all because I told my story.
What we are currently experiencing is the younger generation feeling like they cannot speak up about their mental health for fear of being bullied or labelled as an ‘outcast’ from their friends at school, and I believe issues lie there, early.
Tackling mental health problems, as we know, is a complex issue, but it doesn’t have to be this complex. I am a very firm believer in early intervention and prevention, something I am currently campaigning for in schools, because if we start educating young people on mental health problems, symptoms, affects, recognising when a friend might be suffering, surely it will stem the flow of just being referred to the GP or doctors surgery, prescribed meds or then to be put on the waiting list for 40+ weeks? We teach young people about drugs in school, we teach them sex education in PSHE, why are we not teaching them about mental health problems?
I know this will not answer and solve everything. With this, you will of course then have to have the support in place when young people are aware of mental health problems.
However, it does do one thing. It starts the same epidemic as my speeches, gets more young people openly talking about mental health problems which in turn, reduces the stigma, which will then also, unintentionally, educate the older generations on opening up as well. Then, when we’re all discussing our mental health, we will feel comfort in knowing we are not alone in suffering, and that in itself is one of the most important feelings in today's society.
So, with all that being said, what should we be doing to feel like we can all talk about our mental health comfortably?
Well, the first and most important step of this is to talk, whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever workplace you’re in. In doing so, you will feel better yourself, and may actually make the people around you feel better as well, knowing they know can alleviate some of the worries of what other people might think.
Be kind to others if they are opening up to you. It might have taken that person an enormous amount of courage to do just that, listening is a very important aspect when a person opens up about their mental health.
Remember to ask twice, a simple but powerful question, if someone says they are feeling ‘fine’ maybe ask again, it could just save a life.
The simplest things make the biggest difference, so by just being there for someone when they are going through something has a greatly positive impact on their mental wellbeing.
By getting people to talk about it, open up and speak we can make a difference, let’s do it together.
You are not alone.
