Tired, Tired, Tired
by B.Chov
I’m a stranger in my own skin,
Who they have shaped me to be fights against who I really am.
And when I say “they,”
Let me be clear.
It’s the white body that has taught me to be who they want me to be.
The one that fits their mold of beauty,
That reflects their version of kindness,
The one that doesn’t make waves because she’s the “model minority.”
But I’m learning.
Sometimes I have to make the waves and not just stay afloat.
It’s not just the avoidance of drowning,
But the hope to swim in living water.
My tan skin and my dark almond eyes will no longer be ashamed.
I channel my Asian auntie and stand up for myself,
Proud of the woman I am becoming.
Proud to be angry at times,
Proud to be weak and ask for help.
Proud of the tears that I’m learning to let freely flow.
My kindness will be displayed in my honesty.
My gentleness will be reflected in my vulnerability.
And what I hope for,
Is freedom,
Flourishing,
And my full self,
Eating at the table with the people who celebrate the most raw version of me.
Breanna (B.A. Communications from Texas State) is a second generation Vietnamese-Chinese woman who is passionate about growing in compassion, connecting with people, and seeking good for her community. When not writing, educating, and advocating for the people and justice, she collects and perfects family recipes on her Instagram @forkorchopstick.
