What Men (Also) Need

On gender expectations, love, romance, and what we unrealistically expect from men

Araci Matos
Araci’s life

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We always think that men don’t need affection. At least, not like we, women or children, do.

Men seem always to be shielded by a kind of armor that needs none of that.

They don’t kiss cheeks; they shake hands in a strong handshake — the more strength they put into it, the more it seems to define their personality.

Men speak with hard words and about hard words. You don’t find them talking to each other about heartbreak, what they felt, what they suffered.

And if something of the sort does come up, they touch on it lightly, often blaming women and, in equally harsh words, criticizing them — sometimes rightly, other times not.

This mask they have worn for so long affected my whole perspective on the opposite sex.

It shaped how I saw my brother even more, how I saw my father, how I might see a potential romantic partner later in life, and eventually, how I viewed my boyfriend and my husband-to-be.

When it comes to romantic love, this image is made worse by the idea we’re always presented with of the romantic man: giving us flowers and chocolates if needed, singing serenades from a gondola, or, like…

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