Dear Parents, here’s a heartfelt request!
As kids, the eyes of the world are on us! We are the talk of the town, with everyone “awwwwwing” and cuddling with us. Everything seems new and refreshing, mistakes are forgiven, lessons are learnt!
As we grow further, school is fun! It’s more a social experience than the learning alone. Discipline is enforced, we meet the same people everyday, for more than 12 years, well at least more than a few years even if you change schools. The same routine is followed, everything is arranged and set.
By the time we enter College, we are more independent, but still things are arranged. Rules say you need to go daily, you meet the same people daily, again there’s a routine, everything is set, you know what to expect, well mostly! You know what to do, well mostly!
And then with jobs and money and responsibilities, starts Life 2.0. Nothing is arranged or set any more! You need to make efforts to maintain relationships. Relationships are now maintained with emotions, efforts, time and money! It’s not just convenient to be in one! You can’t just stumble upon each other at the canteen anymore or just waltz down the corridors as if you live without any worries! Now things are tougher. You need to make decisions, there are more expectations and pressures. This is where most personalities take shape. This is where we discover who we have grown up to become, this is largely what we shall remain for the rest of our lives!
I feel that this is also the point after which most people stop growing. Your job, your family, your marriage are done, are ‘set’! This is the longest school or college or any fixed routine you have ever been in and these won’t end till you die! But there is no one to hold your hand any longer, things are uncertain, people look up to you and you may most likely not have anyone to look up to! You don’t know what to expect, you are expected to ‘build’ and grow. You are pushed each day to zones that aren’t very comfortable. And you aren’t a kid anymore, so there’s more baggage, more ego, more of an image to project, not just to others but even to yourself.
This is also the sweet spot for religions, cults and Ponzi schemes (sometimes even Facebook) to enter your life! They provide a semblance of a routine in a life that’s otherwise very uncertain! They tell you — Hey we have all the answers and because you are starved of answers otherwise, you run towards them. They give you a rule book, tell you exactly what you should do and what you shouldn’t, they tell you what’s good and bad, who’s good and bad and even though you doubt a lot of the things they say, you stick around because it feels warm, it feels like you belong. Life otherwise gets too lonely and demands too much self-sufficiency. Even discipline! Life also gets boring, so these things keep you distracted. They give your life a meaning, a purpose, or at least you think they do! You now belong to a system, may not be your own, but it’s a system nonetheless!
But soon problems begin because you give birth to a new life, who’s now standing at the beginning of the road and s/he may have their own journey, they may have enough self-sufficiency or discipline of their own to not need to escape to a set system, they may want to create their own system, but you won’t let them, because you think your journey is THE journey, everyone ought to be like you. The systems you become a part of also thrive by dictating that everyone ought to be like you, they thrive by pulling more victims in!
If somehow you’re able to fight through, you won’t need these borrowed comforts, you won’t need to feel subservient because you shall be free! You shall be liberated! Each day shall feel new, each part of your life shall bring new experiences and learnings, you shall feel the difference, the growth, you shall feel alive! And even if you can’t fight and end up having to succumb, please, please do not hold back those who have a chance to be different! Please! That is your responsibility, you know you were there once, don’t black out those memories, those regrets, yes they shall make you feel depressed, long for what might have been, but don’t snatch away someone else’s chance to go ahead where you stopped, maybe you can experience the joy of going the entire way through them!
