Routine, routine, routine

Question to myself is, am I incapable of a routine?

“Architect your life,” am I able to architect my life?

I want to do this and that. I need to do this and that.

There’s so much I’d like to do, and have to do. There’s that job, there’s that obligation, there’s personal goals, there’s health and there’s this and that. It goes on.

There are moments where I will take my notebook and sit down and feel really motivated and create an ideal routine for myself with consistent morning alarm times and bedtimes. Routines with things to do when getting up and things to do before going to bed. Routines with healthy meals and a little exercise. Routines with allotted time to read, write and relax. Routines with a schedule to fit in all my obligations and more.

I can put it down on paper and I can create it. However, can it be materialized?

It may be just me, and it may be my young age, but I’ve found it difficult to enact such ideal and favorable routines I’d like to take on. I do have a few experiences where I can say I have been able to follow a time schedule for work or for academics, but then in my free time, routine is almost inconceivable.

Routine to me is a consistent concept, one that can do so much. There’s lots going on in my life as a journalist - news flying in all directions, updates at every second - and life events - family and friends, personal what say you - that can distract me from following a routine. But, a routine can introduce a constant in the chaos that is my life.

Routine can bring stability in a busy life with ups and downs. They can even bring confidence and happiness. They can bring in clarity.

It’s really a battle within myself, maybe there are other people who can relate. The kind of battle of whether or not I really cannot make a such ideal routine possible in my life, or it’s a matter of whether or not I really do want one that my subconscious isn’t putting in the effort to follow through. Am I ready for one? I’d like to think I am. Time will only tell.