Whenever you say “never”, and it’s probably more than you think, pay attention to your never statement.
Never discounts possibility, change, growth and ultimate happiness. Even when you say, “never say never”, that usually amounts to “not in this lifetime”. Never is a defense mechanism, a suit of armor and a dream crusher. Never robs us of better health, work, love and happiness. Never keeps us comfortable and complacent.
There are occasional never statements that are sound and logical, especially when they protect you from destructive behavior. Aside from that, most never statements are simply self-limiting beliefs.
What’s Your Never?
I could never be debt free.
I could never quit my job.
I will never give up meat/sugar/bread/insert favorite food.
I could never start my own business.
I will never leave this town.
I could never give up ___________________.
I will never try ______________________.
I will never change ________________ .
If self-imposed nevers aren’t bad enough, we also assume nevers for everyone around us. They will never support my decision. He will never change. She will never say yes. They will never think I’m cool/talented/good enough.
Never statements go on and on, but generally fall into 3 categories:
1. What you think you could never do or accomplish.
2. What you think you would never give up or change.
3. What you think others could never do, accomplish, give up or change.
What if never statements are really part of our bucket list? What if nevers are what we want most, but because we don’t want to be hurt, or fail or expose ourselves to disappointment, we keep them in the never file?
Leaving our nevers in neverland is the omission of opportunity.
We deserve to challenge our nevers. We should at the very least experience a taste of our never so we can make a fact-based decision on whether it should be left behind or become an ever to change our lives, and inform our work.
In life and work, it is our responsibility and inherent right to challenge our nevers and discover what we want most, learn how we can contribute better and live magnificent lives.
Challenge nevers. Risk failure. Lean in. Everything will be ok. Better, even.
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