College Tip 2: Don’t Be Discouraged if You Don’t Find Your Footing Right Away

Picture Source: We Heart It
https://weheartit.com/entry/317587160

*The following is a poem called “Fairy Tale Park,” which is featured in my poetry collection.

Fairy Tale Park

After preschool,
my mom and I would often go
to the fairy tale-themed park
just down the street.

She’d sit down on a bench
and I’d bolt off the trail across the wood chips,
embarking on a rocky climb to the top of the plastic castle.
Approaching the mighty dragon,
its green figure lured me in every time.

Reaching the top of the wall,
I would draw my imaginary sword,
dodge the fire spilling out the monster’s mouth,
and slay the wooden beast.
I reveled in glory,
waving my fist in the air.

Descending the slide, the meal of champions awaited me:
mini Lunchables sandwiches, Ritz crackers as bread,
and tiny bologna and cheese slices.
I enjoyed every carb-filled bite
before washing it down with a fruit punch Capri-Sun.
After refueling, my mom told me
to wait at least twenty minutes
to eat the best part of the whole meal:
the beloved Crunch bar.

I repeated the process of slaying the dragon
over and over again
until Mom finally said I could eat the candy,
indulging in sugary triumph.

I took a break from defeating my foe,
moving from the castle wall to the swing set.
Twisting swing chains
around one another multiple times,
I propped myself on the seat,
immersed in the pleasure
of a dizzy fantasy world
as the chains unwound.

In this imaginary kingdom,
I was celebrated by everybody,
with a beautiful princess right by my side.
But when the swing ceased to spin,
all that stopped,
except the princess was still there:
Andrea from preschool.
She’d meet me at the park after lunch and
I’d watch as she’d spin,
light brown hair done in braids flowing in the wind,
laughing as her brown eyes filled with
pure joy and wonder.

It was in these moments that I learned
I’d found my place in life,
even if it was at the park down the street.

Coming to college is a similar experience,
but this dragon is different.
Trying to find myself a niche
in this 45,000-strong community of students
is like climbing up the castle wall,
only to plummet down,
left scratched and bruised at the bottom.
The dragon watches at the top of the wall,
blowing fire from above,
rejoicing in my defeat.

I want to feel important to somebody,
to anybody,
even if that means depending entirely on myself,
spending days entrapped in dorms
or eating alone in the dining hall.
Instead of Lunchables, my victory meal is a salad, no dressing
(because the other options have too many carbs).
I don’t want to indulge in the Crunch bar
that is now New York-style cheesecake
(because I can’t afford to gain the freshman fifteen).

I know I never want to feel this way
again, engulfed in the dragon’s fire,
unable to grasp the sword
to suppress the flames.

And my princess, Andrea,
has found a different prince charming.
He seems to have slain the college dragon with ease,
surrounded by loyal followers.

He works out in place of victorious dining.

Another princess is nowhere to be found
unless I want to go to the next frat party on Saturday night,
pretending to be somebody else
to get the text that grants me access
to their kingdom.

After I show the text and pay the $5 entry fee,
I’m ready to be immersed in a dizzy fantasy world.
Passing Stacey and Brianna
from psych class,
I pick up a drink from the cooler,
spotting Andrea in the distance.
Even under neon lights, her brown braids are undeniable.

But I don’t get the chance to talk to her.

As I finish the last drop of beer,
my head whirls, my surroundings twirl around me
until I stumble, eventually collapsing on the floor.
It’s just a matter of minutes until I have to leave the party,
standing up to get a final look at
the princess, pursuing another prince.

In spite of current circumstance,
I try to find the strength within myself,
missing since orientation day,
to shake off the flames.
I know I have the power to reign over this kingdom,
to battle these dragons and to be
both celebrated and appreciated by those in my castle.

But now’s just not my time.

*Note: It took a while for me to finally feel like I belonged at my university. Despite what you might think, it’s completely normal to feel like you don’t belong at first. If you give yourself time and room to grow, something beautiful is bound to come out of your college experience. Even if the good moments don’t feel like a fairy tale, it’s also important to celebrate the little wins.

In this article series, I share excerpts and stories from my book, Are These the Greatest Years?. I hope you enjoyed this post — if you enjoyed it and want to connect, you can reach me here via email dominicrose50@gmail.com or connect with me on social:
TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJTqVtdH/

Also, you can find my book on Amazon — here is the link to buy it: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08DTJMMTQ/