College Tip 7: It’s Not Worth Getting Upset Over Things You Can’t Control

Source: Beenke
https://beenke.com/health-relationship/9-ways-phubbing-is-hurting-your-family/

A Family Dinner

It was right before I had to go back to school
after Thanksgiving break last year.

December came out of nowhere,
and it was time to have one final family dinner
until we would be together again for the holidays.

My family and I decided to go to the pancake house nearby.

We kept the snow outside
as we opened the restaurant door,
blocking the sharp chill from entering.

For the main course, we decided to order
a few rounds of some Elf on the Shelf pancakes
“minus the little things that break your teeth.”

My dad says those little candies
are a nightmare for dentists around the world.

Not craving anything sweet, I decided to order
a spicy chicken sandwich,
because what better thing to order
at the International House of Pancakes
than a good ‘ole chicken sandwich?

While we waited for our food,
we talked about everything from current events
to my upcoming graduation.

There was a gap of silence,
and I noticed a family nearby
in a booth right next to the Christmas tree decal
who was also waiting for their food.

But unlike my family,
they weren’t engaging with each other at all.

They were chained to their devices.

Even the little kid,
who could not have been more than six years old,
had his own iPad, playing a specific song about a baby shark
that millions of parents wish didn’t exist.

They didn’t even look up or acknowledge the waitress
when she brought waters for the table.

To them, she was merely a distraction
from their digital consumption.

This bewildered me and made me realize
how dehumanizing it must be to work
in the dining industry and to be seen
as nothing but a catering machine.

I also couldn’t understand why parents would
give something that requires so much responsibility
to a six-year-old.
In my mom’s words, she wouldn’t be
“caught dead”
giving me something like that at such a young age.

It really seems like iPads are raising kids now.

At another table,
a little boy was crying on the floor with a red toy truck,
while his parents ignored him,
fully wrapped up in whatever they were looking at
on their phones.

Bringing myself back down to Earth,
I took a bite of my sandwich.
Although it had just the right balance of mayo and hot sauce,
seeing these families made me fear for the future
and nearly ruined my dinner.

I thought to myself,
What is the point of going out to eat
if you are uninterested in sharing the experience with your loved ones?

It hurts that I have to think that way,
but technology has completely changed the family dinner forever.

I don’t know if we can even call it that anymore.

*Note: One of the most valuable things I’ve learned in college is to not focus your energy on trying to change things you can’t control. Sometimes, I see how much technology has taken over everything we do, and I wish that it wasn’t like this. But I’ve realized that this is the new normal; while I can’t change anyone else’s technology habits, I can focus on making sure I develop healthy habits online.

In this article series, I share excerpts and stories from my book, Are These the Greatest Years?. I hope you enjoyed this post — if you enjoyed it and want to connect you can reach me here via email dominicrose50@gmail.com or connect with me on social:
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