Here’s where you’re allowed to exist.
You’re allowed to exist just fine. You’re allowed to exist in porn, in western clothes, with your hair colored a natural honey brown.
We will let you exist, but it has to be in a straight, hetero way. You have to be the gender we say you’re born as. And from there, your personality is allowed to unfurl. If you’re a woman with some masculine features, you’ll spend your life trying to soften them. If you’re a man with feminine traits, you’ll spend all your time making yourself tougher.
We will let you exist, if you spend all your time trying to change who you are. You cannot embrace whatever is natural about you. Would you consider marrying a whiter person with more desirable traits? Don’t you think that will fix racism?
We will let you exist, but not if you try to be who you are, and certainly not if you try to be more of who you are.
You’re supposed to spend your time going back and forth on decisions, not building a life on a strong sense of self. Which career? Kids or not? School? Is school a scam, actually?
You’re not supposed to make strong decisions or be confident. You’re supposed to have a list of features you want to change. How do you have thin lips but a big nose? Come on now. You think you can exist like that?
You’re allowed to exist if you promise to be insecure, to be swept up by the desires of others, by lottery numbers and pulls at the wheel. You’re allowed to exist if you’re always chasing something.
You’re allowed to exist, if you only refuse to be.
