I am the spider that wove a web around your heart.

A poem.

Lisa Martens
May 24, 2020 · 2 min read
Photo by Paul Carmona on Unsplash

I am the spider that wove a web around your heart. You act like I’m nothing and disappear —
those web strands so light that they fly away in the wind. I know why
you do it:
all that fear of intimacy, of being known, of being close.

All those things I cannot fix.

I am the spider that wove a web around your heart
so I could feel it beating
even from far away. I feel it through the strands
vibrating like guitar strings.
When your legs hurt,
when your lower back hurts,
when you clear your throat.
I still feel all those things.

All those things I cannot fix.

Why?
I myself have tried to break this web, over and over
and over again. But still, there are the vibrations
clear as a drum circle on the beach. Sweat. Heat.
I create this bond unconsciously, unwillingly.
I don’t want to know.
Can you explain it to me?
Do you want me to know?

All those things I cannot know.

I have always been like this, you know.
It is not special…
maybe it is special. I don’t know.
But I have always been like this.
I can feel other people’s feelings from far far away,
but not everyone’s.
They have to have a special connection to me.
And once it happens, I’m afraid to tell you
that it’s forever.

All those things I cannot say.

There are a few here and there.
People I didn’t know well.
People I never fucked.
People I barely knew.
But we lock eyes and then the web has formed. Maybe it’s a past life. Maybe it’s some recognition…of pain, of trauma.
I don’t know what it is.
But it happens, you know.
I don’t think we’re soulmates,
or meant to be,
or anything like that. The spider just recognized a heart
that wanted a web-bed to rest in.

All those things I cannot fix.

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Lisa Martens

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Books, articles, tip jar.: https://linktr.ee/lisathewriter 📚 Collab? lisa.snetram@gmail.com

“Are you okay?”

Stories that cause “concern.” Feminism. Satire. Humor. Misc.

Lisa Martens

Written by

Books, articles, tip jar.: https://linktr.ee/lisathewriter 📚 Collab? lisa.snetram@gmail.com

“Are you okay?”

Stories that cause “concern.” Feminism. Satire. Humor. Misc.

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