“You’ll end up alone and regret it.”

Stop terrorizing single women into marriage.

Lisa Martens
Apr 27 · 3 min read
Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

“What about when you’re old! Who will take care of you?”

“Women tend to live longer than men so, statistically, I’m going to have to Golden Girls it up with my widowed besties when I’m old.”

“What about when you’re old! Who will take care of you?”

“I volunteered in a nursing home, and almost all of the residents had children.”

“What about when you’re old! Who will take care of you?”

“You can be a good wife, and still end up old and alone. Your husband can leave you for someone younger, or just die, and your kids are not obligated to take care of you.”

“If you were nicer, men would want to marry you!”

“I see women who do their best to take care of men in hopes of receiving a ring that never comes. I would rather do literally anything else.”

“If you were nicer, men would want to marry you!”

“I have seen older women in my family get cheated on and left for younger women. I see them lament the time wasted on a man — taking care of him, having his children, and then letting them complicate their lives with incessant drama: refusing to pay child support, taking the kid out of school without the mother knowing, having the child meet the new partner, etc. I don’t want to be nice. Being nice is the first step in being involved.”

“A big man can keep you safe, like if the world ends, or another pandemic!”

“I’m more likely to be abused by a man I live with, and if this pandemic was any sign, then no thanks. I don’t need someone buying a ton of guns and loading a truck full of meat and toilet paper. If I have something I need done, I can hire someone like I do now.”

“If you don’t have kids, the earth’s population will go down!”

“So my carbon footprint will be smaller. Isn’t that good?”

“You’re running out of time to have kids!”

“Single women do not need to be terrorized into getting married and having children. We can choose to adopt when we are older. We can choose a non-traditional route. We can change our minds. What we don’t have to do is let a fear of dying alone bully us into making decisions that aren’t right for us.”

“Aren’t you lonely?”

“Not really. I don’t want to live with a man! I don’t want to clean up his stuff, or listen to sports at an unreasonably high volume! I don’t want to have to cook extra for someone else! I just don’t want to, and I don’t have to. And sure, I probably do annoying stuff, too, but that’s also why I like living by myself — so I can be as weird as I fucking want.”

“You’ll end up alone and regret it.”

“I can pour effort into living a life I don’t want and strive to please men, and still end up alone. And to me, that is far scarier.”

“You’ll end up alone and regret it.”

“Do I know you? Do you even know me? So how can you be an authority over what I will and will not regret? Mind your business and keep your weird, Greek-style prophecies to yourself.”

“You’ll end up alone and regret it.”

“Would you say this to a digital nomad in his early 30s if he was a man? Or would you tell him to be free, have fun, and that he has plenty of time to worry about kids later, and to wait until he’s ready? Hmm? Would you be saying this to a young man who works remotely and can go anywhere he wants? Would you say this to a young man who found a way to make money creatively? Because if not, then it’s not really about concern, is it?”

Lisa Martens

Written by

Always and never the same🖤🕸 Buy me an iced latte: https://ko-fi.com/lisamartens Links: https://linktr.ee/lisathewriter 📚 lisa.snetram@gmail.com

“Are you okay?”

Stories that cause “concern.” Feminism. Satire. Humor. Misc.

Lisa Martens

Written by

Always and never the same🖤🕸 Buy me an iced latte: https://ko-fi.com/lisamartens Links: https://linktr.ee/lisathewriter 📚 lisa.snetram@gmail.com

“Are you okay?”

Stories that cause “concern.” Feminism. Satire. Humor. Misc.

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