“A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a dangerous man who has it under voluntary control.” ~Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
The fact that we tend to walk around assuming that a good person is the one who is altruistic, or who appears harmless is a misnomer on so many levels. We’ve been conditioned to think and believe that if someone is kind to our face, then they must be acting with our best interests behind our back.
It is this very misconception that keeps covert manipulation in full swing, where we’re only finding out in…
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” — Carl Jung
Raise your hand if you’ve ever experienced the highest of highs in a relationship. These are the relationships where everything falls perfectly together, where you’re both perfectly in sync, and everyone is saying you’re the perfect couple.
These relationships are a pretty rare find when there’s an authentic connection — authentic being the operative word.
When it’s healthy, you’re happy. It’s a happiness that grows from your soul, outward. It’s seen in how you conquer the…
“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” — Carl Jung
It’s a known fact that some people are more hardwired for drama and chaos than others. No matter how smooth-sailing their lives may seem, every now and then boom…they throw a wrench in the works.
They may sabotage an otherwise stable relationship with their S.O., or have unstable and drama-filled relationships with family and friends. Even more common is sabotaging the relationship they have with themselves, thus sabotaging their chance for peace.
“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” — Sigmund Freud
Have you ever compared yourself to someone else?
…trick question, because we’ve all done it at one time or another.
Maybe your friend can eat whatever they what and maintain their physique while you’re reduced to eating lettuce and doing the One Punch Man workout daily.
Maybe you have that one co-worker who everyone calls an ass-kisser because they seem to effortlessly move up the ladder while the rest get handed a list of goals to master before their next review.
Or, maybe you keep asking yourself what your…
“One can choose to go back towards safety, or forward towards growth.” ~Abraham Maslow
Life is unpredictable. That’s part of its beauty and its uncertainty. How we handle life’s curveballs is part of our personal growth. Maybe our company downsized or we got in a car accident and are now struggling with more bills and physical therapy. Maybe we asked our partner to move out so we could both work on ourselves while strengthening the relationship — only to find out they had a hidden agenda that no longer included us in the relationship.
Maybe life just caught up with…
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
In Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay titled “Self-Reliance”, he argues that to be self-reliant, we need to stay true to ourselves while shunning conformity and relying on our own abilities in times of adversity.
Makes sense, right?
A self-reliant person should be able to handle their own needs. They should know when to make adjustments as needed and to continue striving for individualism by trusting themselves, their judgement and their intuition.
Yet, nearly two centuries after Emerson’s essay…
“A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” — B.F. Skinner
I’ve always seen it as an anomaly that those we think should have a healthy relationship with themselves are often their own worst enemy. These are the same people who can come across as humble, yet if you dig a little deeper, it’s not so much humility as much as it is a complete disbelief in themselves and their value.
While we may look up to them as someone to aspire…
“In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.” ~Erik Erikson
There are two words that seem synonymous and are used interchangeably on the regular. Yet, these two words couldn’t be more different, and are independent of each other.
The two words: Identity and role.
Because they are misinterpreted as being similar — even identical — they often get misused and confused, leading to more ambiguity about their uniqueness.
All of us have ‘roles’ we have been handed — son, partner, doctor, boss, or breadwinner. Ascribed roles are the ones…
“The secret to your existence is right in front of you. It manifests itself as all those things you know you should do, but are avoiding.” ~Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
Would you be able to spot entitlement in action?
You can probably remember each time someone tried pushing their way in front of you at the store because they felt their time was more ‘valuable’ than yours (and then played naive, …”Oh! I didn’t see you there!” if you called them out).
Or, maybe you know someone who always rolls their eyes if you ask them for the smallest favor…
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.” ~Carl Jung
Feeling stuck or trapped is one of the worst experiences in the world. It’s the feeling of mental fogs and creative blockages. It’s the feeling of limiting beliefs that are led by our inner critic whose goal is to shut us down and keep us under its thumb. And, it’s about toxic behavior, often learned in childhood for survival, which has now become automatic habit, perpetuating the same-old, same-old.
What makes feeling trapped or stuck so horrible is that there’s no perceivable way out of it. We become…
At the Intersection of Analysis & Armchair Psychology. Writer/Editor: Dr. Annie Tanasugarn