A Series of Questions To Ask Russell Westbrook Before OKC — GSW Game
The media seem to be struggling to come up with appropriate inquiries into the mind process of Russell Westbrook. We attempt to help with some pointed suggestions.
On November 3rd, which is tomorrow, a cataclysmic event will take place. As the planets align, tectonic plates shift and the sun goes down the Thunder of Oklahoma City will take on the juggernaut Warriors of Golden State. It is a match up we have hyped up for months now, written about verbatim, circled on our calendars until we wore through the paper and we were just drawing on the wall. Now it’s going to happen. Finally.
In preparation for it, we want to as Russell Westbrook some questions, and no, they’re not what you think. We’ve asked him what he thinks about Durant about a trillion times now and have went from serious, to comical to “How Is This Still a Thing” variances of response. So let’s ask something new. Here is what I want to know from Russ.
Does he still think Steph Curry can’t defend him? Did he maybe write down the name of the reporter who brought that up and hung it up in his locker next to a roughly drawn police sketch recreation of his face where he looks like a character from the first Monkey Island? Do you do that with all reporters who ask horrible questions? Have you ever considered simply walking out of press conferences when asked horrible questions? How many buckets are you guessing you have to give Steph before they switch him? As a matter or fact, do you think they’re even going to put Steph on Russ given how atomically combustible Russ’ game is and how endangering it is to Steph’s perceived stability?
Are you at war with the rims? I picture a scenario where a rim once almost fell down on a young Russell Westbrook and crushed it under its immense weight, perhaps injuring a finger on his shooting hand. Is this an ongoing vendetta against all rims or just certain particular rims? Do they have to be north facing at a 30 degree angle or is that just too much? How are the rims at Chesapeake Energy Arena? Perhaps there is a tentative truce between these rims and Russell Westbrook considering this is where he plays the most and the rims at the Chesapeake so it a prudent reaction to declare a ceasefire. Where do the nets stand on the rim vs. Russell Westbrook conflict? Are they with the rims? Nets strike me like they would be with the rims. They have that untrustworthy quality in them. What will Russell do when every last rim has been punished?
I also want to learn about what I believe to be an expanding relationship between Russell Westbrook and Steven Adams. I feel like it’s an expanding relationship. I feel like Russ has opened himself to Steven Adams because he respects his particular brand of New Zealand crazy. I don’t think it was because of an emotional void because Russell doesn’t strike me as an emotional void type of person. I feel like whenever he feels an impending emotional void, Russell Westbrook simply picks up the ball and attacks some rims. Maybe shoots a three, those hurt rims as much as his dunks by bouncing all around them. Anyways. What’s Steven Adams like? Is he as hilarious in person as he appears in the media? Did he invite Russell to join a tribe as an honorary member? If not, why not? Would Russell be the type of person to ask why he wasn’t invited or just shrug and proceed to dunk? I don’t know. He seems like he wouldn’t care, but then he would deep down.
What’s it like to play with the weight of the whole city on his shoulders? Does it matter that he’s not from Oklahoma City or is it some sort of a divine connection since it’s his NBA birthplace? Does he miss the Sonics the same way I sometimes miss the Sonics and maybe think the best way to get over the OKC hump is to move back to Seattle. Does Russell drink coffee or does he even have an overly complex qualifying opinion on caffeine consumption? Is Oklahoma City really as boring as it seems?
These are all very important things that may or may not pertain to basketball. I may even want to ask him some basketball related questions as well to qualify this as a sports article. What does he think of Billy Donovan’s sets? How close does he get to dunking on his own teammates per game? What’s his overall level of frustration with the fact that Victor Oladio has decided he doesn’t know how to shoot? The Thunder just traded for Jerami Grant because they resigned Ursan Ilyasova when they didn’t have to. So now they traded for Grant. Does it matter? Would Russell have done the same? What does he think of Jerami Grant?
What set is his favourite to run and do the Thunder even run sets. Is it a nomadic “four people run a play while Russell creates” infrastructure or does Russell abide by the Rules of the Don[ovan]? Does Russell has a preference for a particular system or is he a “whatever we’re told is for the best” kind of company man. I don’t think Russell does well with authority figures. I think authority figures fear Russell in a surprise twist of fate. I think fate fears Russell as well for a collection of unknown to us reasons. Does he ever pause and think about taking it easy on teams that are losing by 25 or more points or is ripping out a team’s heart and sacrificing it at the altar of basketball the only true way to achieve victory both physical and spiritual?
Most importantly, how does it feel being asked the same question about KD for the past 3 months of your life?
