Let’s build a Carson Wentz Statue and other NFL Observations
Last week, I delved into how we shouldn’t get too hot on Carson Wentz. While the QB was displaying incredible poise in the pocket, a leadership presence and a very particular set of skills that made Philly below-average receiver corp actually look good, he only played about two quarters of football against opposition that could be qualified as “NFL-level.” Yes, Wentz dismantled the Browns and the Bears, but I wasn’t ready to declare him king. Forget all of that, I am on the phone with Philly figuring out what their Superbowl parade plans are and what kind of mythical metal the Wentz statue will be composed off. Here’s this and some other stuff from NFL Week 3.
Carson Wentz — Philadelphia Jesus
Last week I was watching the Pats efficiently dismantle yet another team with Jimmy Garoppolo at the helm. It is at that time I sent my friend a joking, lighthearted text saying “Tom Brady out here losing his job,” and almost immediately Jimmy G went down for the count. Now, as Bill Belichick preps your second cousin who is a season ticket holder at Foxborough to start at QB vs. the Bills my statement still rings true, except for a different team entire. Tom Brady is losing his job as the paragon of efficiency, except to Carson Wentz.
The Philadelphia Eagles are yet to turn the ball over this season, and Wentz followed up two impressive performances vs. the NFL’s basement to beat a team that may actually have a hope of sniffing the playoffs. Against the Steelers he went for 2 touchdowns, 301 yards with a QB rating of 125.9. He has 72 completions on the year and haven’t thrown a pick yet. Most importantly he’s done it every which way. Under pressure, on the run, set in the pocket… You pick it, he’s done it. Welcome to Wentzelvania everyone.
Pats survive without Brady
Regardless of the result vs. the Bills, Bill Belichick is really just out here living his best life. After Jimmy Garoppolo went down, even the most devout New England stans were having doubts about this team being able to win with Jacoby Brisset under centre. Let alone Julian Edelman. The team got both and they roasted the Texans on a spit to the tune of 27–0. If the objective without Brady was merely to “survive” then I don’t know how much more this team can overachieve by. Given that either Garoppolo or Brisset should be back for Week 4, there is a very serious chance this team will go 4–0 in the absence of their best offensive asset. It’s getting impossible to make an argument for anyone else as the best coach in football.
Odell Beckham Jr. is instantly mema-ble
As a dedicated denizen of the depth of the world wide web I have a good understanding of instantly view-able content. Athletic feats that can seemingly only be performed by gods straight of Greco Roman mythology and hilarious memes with famous people making less than appealing faces exist in equilibrium in the sweet spot of internet content viewability graph. When OBJ snatched our collective imagination one handed out of the air, he got a taste for the former. Now, a showdown vs. his nemesis and habitual line-stepper Josh Norman in the rear view as a feverishly bad memory, he’s about to have a taste of the latter.
While he had a somewhat sub par game by his standards, the real L for Beckham comes from his sideline shenanigans and a competitive alternative to the “Crying Jordan.” At a time when the cameras are on 24/7, you have to stay woke Odell. He escaped Lena Dunham for this?
Minnesota is better off than you think
Losing both your first choices at QB And RB is typically a worst case “try again next year” scenario for most teams. The Vikings are resting their offensive hopes on Sam “maybe this year?” Bradford and Stefon Diggs. But really, who gives a shit as long as their defense keeps performing at this terrifying rate.
I am a proud Minnesota Vikings Defense owner in my NFL Fantasy League and if they manage to put up another performance like they did in the first three weeks I will personally write George Edwards a thank you later with a quill. Imagine the most terrifying thing you can think of, dressed in a football uniform and then put 11 of them in front of you ready to snatch the life out of your body and put the fear of God into your unborn children. That is this Minnesota defense. At this rate, all Bradford has to do is “not fuck up too much” and they have a solid shot at the playoffs. Death by defense.
The Perils of Overreaction
The nature of the sportscasting life cycle is such that you often need to pull sensationalism out of mundane occurrences. Stretch chance performances into something only you can see as if you were being played by Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind. This is probably the number one reason Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless still have jobs. The problem is, when you reconstruct a pattern where none exist, you end looking like a certified moron most of the time (see again Stephen A. Smith, Skip Bayless, Chris Broussard and all of the sources).
Aaron Rogers must have been reading all of the articles about his downfall, because nothing could have been a stronger answer than what he did last night. Coming off two weeks where he looked a step too slow Rogers got cooking early and didn’t stop until the opposition was crispy and baked. He obviously won’t put up these kinds of numbers all the time, but as he slides into consistency, last night’s game was a reminder to underestimate Rogers at your own peril.
Similarly, Ryan Fitzpatrick swung to the other side of the pendulum. Just as you though the Jets have found a QB to lead them.. well to lead them somewhere. Like to the edge of the Forrest. Fitzpatrick ruined all of that for snapping for 6 picks. I don’t think it’s fair that the Chiefs were allowed to have two quarterbacks on the field yesterday.
The Seahawks have shrugged a confusing start to end up at 2–1, mostly due to the fact that someone must have told Jimmy Graham what his actual trade value was. The Tight End was phenomenal, catching everything in sight and performing exactly like everyone assumed he would when the franchise gave up a king’s ransom for him. All of this is just a reminder to let the narratives play out before writing them into a book.
Also, the Browns just can’t win.
