Waiting for the next next album

It’s been close to a week and we still have to collectively pinch ourselves to ensure that awakening from a somber, bittersweet daydream that is Blond|e is not coming any time soon. After years of playing with our emotions and escalating expectations, Frank Ocean finally deemed us ready for the melodic crescendo that is the release of his latest musical opus. With the great white whale finally in our grasp, what is the next thing musical Ahabs will lust and thirst for? We have some suggestions.

Dr. Dre: Detox

Sure, some people will say that we got Compton, and that’s pretty much the same thing. To those people I won’t even bother saying anything, I will just stare at them until they realize the error of their ways and find a way to exit this, now uncomfortable, conversation. Detox has been a hip-hop myth for about a decade by the time Compton dropped, and while new music from the doctor was always welcome, it was hard not to notice this wasn’t Detox. Meant to fill the gaps in the movie universe of Straight Outta Compton. While it carried some strong performances from a lot of guest artists (a Dr. Dre staple) it felt undercooked by the standards we’ve preemptively placed on Detox. It seemed like just another album, not the “next great Dr. Dre album” we all expected. So I think it’s time to reenter the collective agony of Detox anticipation.

Lil’ Wayne

We got the “whatever the fuck that jolly-rancher lyrics laden” mixtape from him and 2Chainz earlier in the year, and to be quite honest all it did is brighten up the expectations for a new Lil’ Wayne release. Amidst struggling with syrup addiction and intense family drama of reality TV proportions we tend to forget that Wayne’s was the name on everyone’s lips before he went a little too faux grunge rock on all of us. Tha Carter II and Tha Carter III were monumental staples in every hip-hop head’s library. Sure, now we can forgive everyone who thinks that Wayne is nothing more than bouncy slurs on a bare track, after all, they haven’t heard him reach nuclear status for 5 minutes straight on Tha Mobb.

Eminem

Guys, GUYS, GUYSSSSSS!!!! I have a theory. Seriously. I think Eminem is bored. Like, he just sits at home and writes lyrics on paper until he runs out of paper and starts writing them on the wall and then mowing them into the yard. His neighbours are probably very concerned. Like, legitimately concerned. Every now and and again Em pops his head out spits about 2–3 songs to remind everyone that he is in fact still top 5 DOA and goes back into hiding. He basically lives for swirling rumours of rap beef so he can remind everyone that there is a movie out there that focuses on the perils of rap battling Eminem as its subject matter. He’s that good. We deserve this album.

Andre 3000

Big Boy has taken on a variety of solo projects since Outkast seemingly dismantled (much to the chagrin of this self-proclaimed no. 1 Outkast fan). And while Antwan Patton is out there burning up mics with his supersonic delivery, Andre Benjamin has been somewhat quiet and out of sight. Sure, he has a variety of undertakings as befitting a renaissance man, but his musical talent is so overwhelming it is his responsibility to deliver it to the world. He recently reminded all of us of this during his captivating appearance on Blond|e’s Solo reprise, the album’s one true guest appearance. Want to know how transcending Andre 3000 is? On his feature song on Frank Ocean’s “Solo (Reprise),” Frank Ocean — another transcending artist, and the folk hero of people who exclusively read High Snobiety — speaks not a syllable. To quote Chance the Rapper “this is my part, nobody else speak.”

Jay Electronica

I bring to you Exhibit C.

The most frustrating thing about listening to “How Great,” a song by Chance the Rapper, is the part where Jay Electronica comes in, takes the beat into the backroom, or a meat locker, or an abandoned parking lot and then stomps and prances all over it for a good minute and change. With one appearance Jay has proven that he still has the skills and the linguistic flexibility to be one of the greats. He just refuses to for some reason. Before “How Great,” last time we’ve heard (and I say heard because many a faux-fuckboi and cultural “influencer” jawned on the Kendrick verse without giving the rest of the track due credit) was on Big Sean’s “Control.” Unfortunately, it happened to follow one of the most cultural important verses at that time, causing us all to wear down the rewind button ad-nauseam and rattle off names off-key alongside Kendrick without getting to Jay Elec. The greats deserve their own standalone project and as an apology it is our duty to get on the new Jay Elec album if/when it ever comes out.

Blackstar

I live in a mystical world of belief, denial and complete aversion to facts so I choose to wholeheartedly never acknowledge the fact that the second Blackstar album is probably never happening. I will wait for it on my deathbed.

Ke$ha

I am going to be honest, I couldn’t give less of a fraction of a fuck about Ke$ha’s music. I don’t really listen to it and it blends in with the rest of the top 40 cacophony whenever it comes on. However, I do believe in the artists’ right to create unrestricted by cultural bullshit, discrimination and other external pressure factors. What happened to Ke$ha is wholeheartedly fucked up, unfair and all various kinds of representative of the bullshit of modern day society and rape culture. Whatever your view on her music should be, we should all be anticipating her next album free of the hell she’s been through. I choose to believe it will still come out and I choose to wait for it in anticipation (even though I’ll probably never listen to it).

2Pac

Yeah, I’m not kidding. We got at least 5 posthumous albums from the man, are you telling me there aren’t at least like 10 rough cuts lying around somewhere we can master and put on a record? Stop lying.

Frank Ocean

We got 2 albums, one 48 minute ballad and a video for “Nikes”. We will not see Frank for about 8 years now. We should start mentally preparing for that as of today.