10+ Types of Facebook Posters
Humorous Caricatures of Social Media Users
Social media has existed since the earliest times.
Imagine, if you will:
An early, nomadic hominid, scratching an image onto the wall of her cave-shelter. Picture her wonder, joy, and surprise when she returns, a season later, to find an image left by an unknown “other”.
There, on the cave wall, is an “answering image” — with splashes of colour. She has no idea who “commented on her wall post”, but she knows she’s not alone. There has been a response to her unintended friend request. She is experiencing shared humanity and kinship, beyond the immediate circle of her tribe.
Over the years, they may have gone on to share information. I imagine them sharing hunting stories, food storage ideas, and even recipes. I see them inspiring each other to greater creativity by means of their developing art. Maybe, they even shared some personal details.
Did other people, passing through, add to the story on “her wall”?
Basically, humanity has been obsessed with “social media” ever since.
As cultures and technology developed over millennia, so did long-range social interaction. Passed messages, and formal mail services replaced cave paintings. Books spread thoughts and information to larger numbers. Telegraph, telephone, newspapers, and radio, further widened global information sharing.
During the 1970s, just about everyone had a “handle”, kept their “ears on”, and provided strangers with their “20”. But, the CB radio craze was fairly short-lived, and we soon left the truckers in peace.
The '80s saw the advent of personal computers, along with Internet Bulletin Boards (BBS), and IRC (Internet Relay Chat).
During the '90s, more and more people acquired computers, and Internet usage grew quickly. This was particularly true during the latter half of the decade. ICQ (yes, the pun was intentional) and AOL (America Online) instant messaging (IM) made its appearance. Email became so commonplace, that people began to share jokes, and cartoons on their contact networks. Of course, the more hardcore BBS, IRC, and IM users had been doing this for ages. But, now the rest of the work-a-day world joined in.
SixDegrees.com (1997–2001) is generally recognised as the first, true social media website. Shortly thereafter, OpenDiary invented “reader comment”, and “friends-only content”.
The early-Noughties, saw the real birth of social media, with the genesis of sites like LiveJournal, Habbo, Friendster, and MySpace.
Then, in 2004, along came the current big-daddy of them all — FaceBook.
There have since been many successful, and failed social media sites. Those that are still around, include Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Flickr, Reddit, Pinterest, SnapChat, Tumblr, Tinder, Google+. I could go on, but won’t. (you’re welcome)
Successful social media sites, are those that have recognised, owned, and run with their niche market. Too many changes, and they upset their “faithful” followers. Facebook is discovering, and dealing with this reality at present. On the other hand — too few changes, and they fail to keep up with the tech-xpectations of their subscribers.
Even those of us who were adults before the rise of the computers¹, often wonder how we’d live without social media. How did we ever manage without WhatsApp?
Social media, of various kinds — for good or bad — has become integral to our society. For people in my age-group (50s — plus or minus), that usually means Facebook.
With that in mind, I thought I’d do something a little different this week, and caricature the various kinds of posters I’ve found on Facebook. I’m sure you’ll recognise many of your Facebook friends … and maybe, even yourself. Enjoy.
¹ Yes, that is a subtle reference to “the rise of the machines” in the Terminator movies
I’ve isolated ten different caricatures of Facebook posters — although the first does have four sub-types. Then, just for you, I’ve included a bonus, eleventh type. So, actually, 15 in all.
- The NOMOC — None-Of-My-Own-Content Poster
These posters are true to their name. They may be frequent posters on Facebook, but they only ever share content from other sources. The only way you find out anything about the NOMOC poster, is by analysing their shared content.
There are four clear sub-types of NOMOC poster :
→ The MARB — Maybe A Russian Bot Poster
MARBs flood Facebook with single-subject content — usually political. MARBs come in all the political flavours. But, an individual MARB’s posts will always maintain a consistent party line. You will find zero doubt, conjecture, subtlety, or nuance in their posts. On my timeline, they are likely to be “unfollowed” so that I no longer see their posts. (I wouldn’t want to become the focus of their ire by unfriending them)
→ The HO-HO — Humour Only Poster
HO-HOs only ever post jokes and cartoons. HO-HO posts may be rather one-dimensional, and even impersonal. But, HO-HOs are “good” Facebook friends. After all, at the end of a tough day, you can always rely on your HO-HOs for a bit of a giggle.
→ The Crusader
Let me start by saying that Crusaders are usually wonderful people. Their hearts may be soft, but they are fierce. They feel deeply, and want to make a difference. But … if you’re their Facebook friend, you’d better share, or at least accept their passion.
Crusaders will inundate your timeline with petitions and causes. They will badger you to save the whales, rhinos, butterflies … and yes, the badgers. Your Facebook feed will fill up with horrific images and stories. Fortunately, Facebook allows one to "hide" potentially horrific images.
At times, the Crusader will frustrate you, disgust you, and overload you. But, once in a while, they will also touch your heart.
→ The QAC — Quotes And Content Poster
Once again, you’ll no-doubt become a better person for reading QAC posts. QACs often share great wisdom. By reading their posts, you’ll learn a great deal about yourself. Yet, all you’ll ever know about your QAC, is what you can deduce from their shared content. - The Provocateur
You can always rely on this Facebook “friend” to piss you off — with monotonous regularity. Their posts are always controversial and inflammatory. Many of them, may also be rude, derogatory, discriminatory, or just plain nasty. Unfortunately, many Provocateurs are religious. They will attempt to fill you with fear for not sharing or liking. These are my prime candidates for “unfollowing”, or even — horror of horrors — “unfriending”. - The Fauxster
False news, alt-facts, hoaxes, and conspiracies are the Fauxster’s stock in trade. The Fauxster only has one unbreakable rule for posting content. Never fact-check before posting. Helpfully pointing out their “error” in a comment, usually draws a zero-response. They will continue to respond to other comments on their post, but will ignore you completely.
I’d include a link to Snopes, but if you’re a Fauxster, you wouldn’t use it. - The ASS — Attention Seeking pSycho
I’m sure you know at least one ASS. Posts from an ASS, appear on your timeline, as well as on special-interest groups or pages. ASS posts appear wherever the ASS thinks they’ll get some attention.
Here are some actual examples :
→ “Well … that was annoying!!!!”
→ “Another story of my life over. Why me ffs?”
→ “Right now :,( when I was crying </❤” (with selfies, but I’ll spare you) (emoticons — crying & broken heart)
These supposed cries for help, will result in many worried comments from friends. If the ASS does ever get round to responding to this outpouring of goodwill, it will only be much later. The response will be dismissive, and won’t actually tell you what happened.
ASSes are best ignored. If you’re soft-hearted, unfriend them immediately. - The PLOS — Private-Life Over-Sharer
If you have a PLOS as a Facebook friend — and you almost certainly do — brace yourself. Your PLOS will inundate your timeline with overly intimate details about their life. Nothing is off-limits. You will hear all about their home, health, children, family, work, diet, and more.
Get used to seeing pictures of their children & grandchildren. These photos are helpfully tagged (if you’re into human trafficking) with times, and home/school locations. You’ll soon know more about them, from their posts, than you do about yourself.
Occasionally, bobbing along in this stream of personal overshare, you’ll notice an incongruity. In the very midst of overshare, there will be the occasional horrified post about how social media abuses one’s privacy.
(if you don’t know who your PLOS is, it might be you) - The BO — Business Only (not body odour) Poster
Facebook was originally set up for guys to rate girls’ looks, and see who was available for dating. Granted, it’s developed beyond that — mostly — but, Facebook is still a SOCIAL media site.
Yet, the only posts you’ll see on the BO’s page, will be business related. Granted, these posts may well originate on their business page. But, their personal page exists only as another forum in which to share their business posts. You will never find anything personal on the BO’s Facebook page.
I freely admit to having business pages on Facebook. But if business is all you’re interested in, get yourself onto LinkedIn. - The Perfecto Poster
If the Perfecto’s Facebook posts are a true reflection of their life, then truly, “heaven is a place on earth”.²
I understand being positive. I understand not burdening everyone with your problems. What I don’t understand, is pretending that one’s life is all, and only wine and roses. If your timeline contains only blessings, prizes, joys, and success, I begin to suspect. I begin to suspect that you’re not being completely truthful. I may even begin to think that Perfecto is engaging in some one-upmanship.
Don’t tell Perfecto, but I’m pretty sure he’s wildly insecure.
² If you sang that phrase, follow the link to the song - The PLP — Past Life Poster
If the PLP’s timeline is to be believed, they are still in their youthful prime. If you believe the PLP’s timeline, s/he is still a model, sport-star, dashing young soldier, or dancer. The PLP’s timeline contains only reminiscences. Photos and stories of their youthful beauty, fame, fortune, and success abound.
But, don’t expect to find out what the PLP looks like now, nor anything else about their present life.
(Maybe, if I’d achieved anything worthwhile in my youth, I’d be a PLP) - The Ghost
The Ghost, is that Facebook friend you know is on your Friends List, but that you never see on Facebook. The Ghost never posts anything, and never comments on anything. The Ghost probably has no profile pic. You might think the Ghost is inactive on Facebook. But, once in a blue-moon, the Ghost will “Like” something, thus confirming rumours of their existence.
Ghosts were often pressured onto Facebook by their children, partner, or IRL (in real life) friends. They didn’t want it, but now they’re hooked, in spite of themselves.
One day, in the distant future … they might post or comment … or maybe not. - The Troll
Trolls on Facebook, as in fairy-tales, lurk in dark corners. They lie in wait for opportunities to pounce on unsuspecting Facebookers. You all know at least one Troll.
In real life (IRL), Trolls may be wonderful people — truly. But, let them get one sniff of a juicy online post or comment, and they become ravening monsters. A Troll’s social media, or even IRL profile, is often at odds with what emerges during any online “discussion”.
Without warning, your butter-wouldn’t-melt, saves-starving-kittens friend is spewing bitterness, bile, and hatred. In the blink of an eye, your intelligent, empathic colleague seems unable to grasp anything outside their own opinion.
Trolls often completely ignore comments that attempt to counter their arguments. They’ll merely carry on hammering home what they think.
As the saying goes, “Don’t feed the Trolls.”
Don’t get drawn in. Don’t argue. Don’t think you can have a discussion. - And the bonus Facebook poster is :
The AFB — The Anti-Facebook Poster
As Facebook users, we’ve always complained about Facebook. To be honest, Facebook has always given us something to complain about. Interfaces and apps that don’t work reliably, along with disappearing posts & comments.
Then, of course, there are the dreaded Facebook Terms & Policies. They ban photos of breastfeeding moms, while allowing photos of half-naked young women. (by the way, I hold nothing against either — my wife won’t let me) They get you banned from Facebook, because someone — just one person — grouched about you, or something you said.
Well, we’ve had those kind of complainers for ages — and I’ll admit that sometimes I too, complain about Facebook. After all, protest is both a right, and a responsibility.
But, recently, a new, more virulent breed of AFB has sprung up. These AFBs, point to Facebook’s misuse of personal data in recent US elections, amongst other things. They are right to do so.
But, here’s the kicker. These AFBs, quote this as a reason to scrap Facebook entirely. These AFBs, promote this radical viewpoint on Facebook, as Facebook users.
I assume they’re blind to the irony.
Well … that’s it Folks!
I hope you enjoyed my attempts at some humorous word-caricatures. Please remember, that these are caricatures. As such, they contain aspects of truth. But, also as caricatures, they are purposely are one-dimensional, generalised, and not nuanced.
I’m sure you will recognise friends, family, and possibly yourself. But, please read and enjoy these in the spirit intended.
If this gave you a bit of a laugh, please do clap, comment, and/or share.
