7 Haikus

Conflicted Calvin

I don’t like what the

NFL stands for but I

love artichoke dip.

Snooze Button

I’ll just sleep for five

more minutes. And mentally

sleep for five more years.

Brooklyn Bar

The guy across from

me is a dead ringer for

John Phillip Sousa.

Birthday Party Excuse #1

So bummed I can’t come.

It’s just that your lifestyle’s

unreasonable.

Birthday Party Excuse #2

So bummed I can’t come.

It’s just that your friends are more

successful than me.

Cubicle Chris

It’s a lot of work,

making it look like I am

always doing work.

Midlife Crisis

Sometimes, I think I

should just get in a car, and

go to taco bell.