Author Actively Seeking Rejection
“If I don’t get in trouble once a week, I’m not working hard enough.” LM Foerster in halcyon marketing days
You can quote me on that.
Because it’s absolutely true. I lived the experience and lived to tell the tale.
In my corporate life, virtually every week I would find myself behind closed doors being cross-examined in serious, careful, stern conversation with my boss and/or senior management.
Sometimes I had gone sideways instead of straight ahead the way that everyone else went — and it was presumed that I would do.
The problem was that I had seen things differently, calculated risks and benefits, and forged ahead. Challenging the status quo, asking why we did things the way we did and why they had to be the way they were, and never ever taking anything for granted made for lively meetings with senior management, spiced with positive feedback from the sales force and marketplace, the rest of the organization, and robust profit. More than once, a manager skulked up to me after the meeting to say they would have done the same thing I had. If I could find a way to keep from veering off the road into unexpected terrain that hadn’t been previously approved, things might go more smoothly for me.
But where would the fun be in that?
New product development and innovative marketing tactics fail more often than succeed — always have and always will if you are doing something genuinely interesting, groundbreaking, and valuable.
That’s the way of it. You do not want to veer away from taking the risks, taking chances on something weird. Take the right risks, be smart about what you do, and learn from everything. Every now and then, you’ll hit one out of the park. That will make up for the weekly one-on-one meetings.
In writer world, I actively seek rejection. I’ve learned to call it another word, one that works better: Challenge.
Challenge glows bright:
- When work is rejected, I learn what I want to work on further. I’ve been handed valuable insight into where I can improve, enhance, and strengthen.
- When someone takes a pass and provides detailed feedback, I draw what I can from it to learn what I did do well — and am good at doing. Then I aim to more of that and see what happens.
- With rejection and feedback, I discover what I do badly — at least in this person’s opinion. I decide whether I value their perspective and then figure out whether I am going to fix it, develop my skills , or ignore what they thought. We’re all humans here, doing our best to understand one another. Sometimes we see things very differently. I’ve learned to consider, decide, let go, and move on. The second time can be the charm in reworking, revising, resubmitting; however, make sure you want that charm. Does it get you closer to where you want to be?
- If my work is not being rejected, I am not pushing the boundaries hard enough. I am missing out on the opportunity to learn what I want and need to do next. This keeps me submitting, trying new tools and approaches. It keeps me honest about how hard I am working and whether I am being effective and intelligent, too.
Recently, I pitched a novel I wrote and loved. Some liked it. Others reared back in their seats, clearly shocked I had written such a story. Questions were tough, direct, and to the point.
Some weeks later, I have decided to use the Challenge word. Now I regard the shock and dismay as incredibly valuable, not demoralizing. I learned what was truly essential about my story.
Without this feedback, I would not have been able to painstakingly examine the separate strands of story, the contribution of every character, and why events progressed as they did. I also got to face my own awful feelings about being rejected, about being eyed as demented, deluded, and wrong.
I grin as I type that last bit. I know all about what it is to be looked upon as demented, deluded, and wrong — while wearing business attire that is too colorful, fashionable, and different from expected.
This was a marvelous “YOU ARE OUT OF Y0UR MIND!” “THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S DONE!” and “WHAT THE DEVIL WERE YOU THINKING?” moment. I’ve had them before. I’ll have them again here in writer world — but only if I’m working and risking hard and well.
In this place of thinking for myself, I’ve learned that wisdom is found by asking the best questions, not having the right answers.
I take joy in the work of striving toward a challenge and then moving the goal posts further out when I’m ready for more. Rejection gives me the information I need for what conquests I want to set and where and how and why.
